Updated: March 27, 2017
Originally Published: June 15, 2015
Like learning to ride a bike, I once thought that using the restroom was a skill you’d master for life. However, I soon realized that this journey is far more complex. Our four-year-old has encountered some unexpected challenges.
One evening, while enjoying a brief moment of solitude on the toilet—my personal escape from parenting duties—I stumbled upon a humorous post from my younger sister. The gist was her expressing disbelief at the task of cleaning feces from the bathtub. I couldn’t resist chiming in with my own reaction, “Oh my god. That’s so gross!” Shortly after, several friends shared their sympathies in the comments. I had a fleeting thought that I might be tempting fate, so I returned to the thread and feigned empathy, commenting that we’ve been fortunate so far. Of course, I was just pretending; I believed that if we were careful, we’d never face such a scenario.
Then came the dreaded shout from my partner upstairs. “Mark! Oh no… Mark!”
“An accident happened. In the tub!” she exclaimed.
It was a day I had hoped to avoid. I suspect some parents manage to escape this reality, but not us. I remained composed on the surface, knowing that I needed to be a role model for our children, despite the turmoil brewing underneath.
As time went on, we mistakenly believed we had mastered the art of bathroom training. Days passed without our son producing what he calls a “poop family” in the toilet, which he humorously describes as going in phases. However, when encouraged to try, he resisted, developing an irrational fear of the process.
We employed various coaxing methods and even bribery, which yielded minimal success. Then, he simply stopped trying altogether, leading to painful bouts of constipation. Despite our logical explanations, nothing seemed to work. In a moment of desperation, I made a questionable decision: a warm bath might solve the issue.
It did—though not in the way I had hoped. My four-year-old, who is remarkably large for his age, managed to create a scene reminiscent of a comically disastrous adult experience. The chaos that ensued taught me the true meaning of karma.
In our modern family dynamic, my responsibilities as a father extend beyond those of previous generations. I strive to be a nurturing and supportive parent. Yet, there are some tasks that only a mother can fulfill, particularly when our son expresses fear after a few days without a bowel movement. Our incentive system, which includes chocolate rewards, works well, but when it falters, anxiety resurfaces.
When that happens, my partner transforms into the guiding force our son desperately needs. Together, they retreat to the bathroom, where she patiently calms his fears, enduring his protests and tearful apologies, reassuringly explaining that this is a natural process. Utilizing cold compresses and a soothing tone, she creates a calming atmosphere, often lighting candles to set the mood. Eventually, her unwavering support helps him overcome his fears, allowing his body to function as intended.
In a heartfelt yet unintentional way, my partner has become a poop doula, supporting our son through one of life’s most basic yet challenging experiences.
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Summary:
This article humorously recounts the challenges of parenting, specifically addressing the journey of potty training and the unexpected role of a mother as a “poop doula.” Mark shares his experiences as he navigates parenting responsibilities alongside his partner, blending humor with the realities of childhood development.
Keyphrase: Parenting and potty training experiences
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