The role of a parent is undoubtedly challenging, but fostering requires an exceptional level of strength and resilience. When you welcome a child into your home as a foster parent, you not only open your residence but also your heart, fully aware that the time may come when the child you have come to love must leave.
Jessica Matthews, a foster mother, recently shared her poignant experience of saying goodbye to a baby girl who had been a part of her family for six months. In a heartfelt post on the Facebook page, Love What Matters, Matthews expressed the sorrow of losing a child she had grown deeply attached to. “We lost the battle,” she wrote, explaining that by “lost,” she meant she didn’t get what she had hoped for.
The Challenges of Fostering
Matthews described the challenges her family faced while fostering this baby girl, their first foster child. As the time came for the baby to reunite with her biological sisters, Matthews couldn’t help but worry about how the transition would affect the child she had nurtured. “I wonder if they’ll understand that she needs a soft pillow to sleep well at night, or if they’ll discover her love for fist bumps before bed,” she mused.
She fondly recalled teaching the baby sign language, feeling a sense of loss at not being able to continue those lessons. “If they ask her, she’ll sign ‘please’ when she’s hungry and let them know when she’s had enough. I never got to teach her ‘thank you,’ but that was next on my list,” Matthews reflected.
Explaining the Goodbye
Explaining the situation to her biological son proved to be just as difficult. He struggled to grasp why their foster sister was leaving, expressing confusion with, “But we’re her brothers.” Matthews admitted that finding a silver lining in this painful experience was proving challenging. “I could see by his expression that my attempt to clarify things made no sense to him—and honestly, it didn’t make sense to me either.”
Preparing for Farewell
As she prepared to bid farewell, Matthews poured love into her foster daughter’s last moments with them, filling her sippy cup and giving her a calming lavender-scented bath. “I told her I loved her and squeezed her tightly, knowing she enjoyed hugs but disliked being held too long. I wonder how long it will take her new family to learn that,” she wrote.
Her heartfelt words encapsulate the profound sadness of such a loss. “The heartbreak is overwhelming me tonight. The tears won’t stop,” she admitted. “This first goodbye is more painful than I ever imagined, and it’s something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.” However, despite the immense difficulty, Matthews affirmed that the experience was worthwhile. With a warrior spirit, she expressed no regrets about fostering and looked forward to the next opportunity. “The moment I see that familiar number pop up, asking if we can welcome another child who needs love, my answer is already clear,” she stated. “Absolutely. We’re ready. For six months or forever, we’re in.”
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, Jessica Matthews’ emotional account highlights the profound challenges and rewards of fostering a child. Her journey illustrates the bittersweet nature of opening one’s heart to a child who may eventually leave, reinforcing the commitment and love foster parents are willing to share, regardless of how long they have the opportunity to do so.
Keyphrase: foster parenting experience
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