Dear young gentlemen,
Let’s talk about that interesting appendage that often occupies your thoughts: your penis. Though I may not have personal experience, as a mother who has raised boys, I feel compelled to share some important insights about this part of your body. After all, I’ve witnessed enough nudity in our home to rival any tropical resort. Here are several key points to consider regarding your penis.
- No Need to Worry: Your penis is not going anywhere. It will remain right where it belongs, so you can stop holding onto it constantly, whether you’re watching your favorite show or dozing off. It’s a lifelong companion, so treat it with care.
- A Firm Hold is Essential: When using the restroom, it’s advisable to have a firm grip. It can be quite floppy, and without control, you may find yourself spraying like a broken hose.
- Keep It Covered: Remember to keep your penis tucked away appropriately. In the future, this advice will take on even greater significance during your teenage years. It’s unnecessary to rest it on your sibling’s arm, dip it in your drink, or use it as a makeshift tool for various activities.
- Stretching and Pulling: While it might look amusing to stretch it like a rubber band, trust me, it’s not a good idea. Such actions can be harmful.
- Hygiene Matters: If you find yourself needing to use your hands for something else, like a snack or a game, make sure to wash them first. It’s polite, and more importantly, it’s hygienic.
- Don’t Stress Over Minor Awkwardness: It’s completely normal if your penis is not positioned perfectly at all times. There’s no need for dramatic reactions.
- Choose Your Spots Wisely: Just because you can urinate almost anywhere doesn’t mean you should. Aim for the appropriate location.
- Private Handling Only: If you feel the need to stretch or manipulate your penis, please do so in the privacy of your room. This will spare everyone around you from feeling awkward.
- No Need for Displays: After your bath, there’s no need to show off. Avoid unnecessary antics that involve your penis. This applies to both you and your father.
It is my hope that this guide will serve as a helpful reference for you to navigate the world of proper behavior regarding your anatomy. You may thank me later, or perhaps your future partner will.
Much love,
Your Mother