Have you heard about the family that sent a bill to the child who didn’t show up for their birthday celebration? I admit, I’m somewhat relieved that this situation has come to light, as entertaining other kids can be quite costly. With the potential to recover some of these expenses, I’ve compiled a list of charges I’ll be sending to other families, which includes:
- 87 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that your child sampled briefly before rejecting.
- 800 kilowatt hours of electricity consumed to support the Wii U console.
- The three essential Wii U games that my children discovered through yours.
- Carpool expenses covering mileage, fuel, and vehicle depreciation. (The minivan isn’t getting any newer!)
- My billable hours for that playdate you decided to “extend” your stay during.
- The plumber’s fee (holiday rates apply, Happy Labor Day!) for the clogged toilet.
- Six rolls of toilet paper your child attempted to stuff into said toilet.
- A variety of art supplies that were ultimately used for destruction rather than creativity.
- 18 rolls of paper towels employed while attempting to teach your child proper glass usage.
- Goldfish snacks, goldfish snacks, goldfish snacks.
- The case of ZBars that mysteriously vanished.
- The living room carpet which, according to your child, “wasn’t that impressive anyway.”
- The wine I consumed to recuperate from your visit.
- 367 Magic Erasers.
- New balls (all of which have either been tossed over the fence or inexplicably lost).
- One gallon of ice cream that contained “too much chocolate,” ending up as a melted puddle on our kitchen table.
- Two cups of hot chocolate that also suffered from “excess chocolate” and were left to cool on the coffee table.
- One bag of microwave popcorn that I had hidden for my Bravo binge but was found and burned by your child.
- 300 gallons of water wasted in July 2014 when the hose was left running for five hours.
- Six boxes of Band-aids and three tubes of Neosporin (I warned your child at least four times not to ingest it).
- Three days at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica.
We accept credit, but cash is preferred. Due to the PTA wrapping paper incident of 2012, we regret to inform you that personal checks are not accepted. Please ensure your payment is made before your child/ren visit my home again.
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In summary, parenting can be a financial burden, especially when it comes to unexpected expenses from playdates. By humorously addressing these costs, we can foster a sense of community and understanding among families while ensuring that our financial contributions are recognized.
Keyphrase: family expenses during playdates
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