In her memoir, The Long Farewell, Sarah reflects on the loss of her mother to cancer in 2008, an event that profoundly impacted her at the age of 32 while her mother was just 55. Such immense grief often serves as a powerful, albeit difficult, teacher in the pursuit of happiness, making Sarah’s insights particularly valuable.
Dr. Carter: What simple activity reliably boosts your mood?
Sarah: Walking is my go-to. I used to be an avid runner, which brought me joy (despite the initial struggle to lace up my shoes). However, after tearing the cartilage in my hip and needing surgery—an injury that occurred about nine months after my mother’s passing—I had to adapt. Running had been my coping mechanism. It has been challenging, but I’ve discovered that walking allows me to slow down and appreciate my surroundings rather than rushing through life.
Reading has also been a source of joy for me. Revisiting classics like Anne of Green Gables or T.H. White’s The Once and Future King always lifts my spirits, especially during tough times. A particular passage from The Book of Merlyn, which serves as a prequel to The Once and Future King, resonated with me after my mother’s death: “The best thing for being sad… is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails.”
What insights about happiness do you now possess that you didn’t at 18?
I’ve learned that happiness ebbs and flows. When I’m feeling low, I remind myself that it will pass, and I can endure it. However, I also recognize that certain pains linger and shape us. The loss of my mother on Christmas Day 2008 was a profound lesson in this regard. While the pain can be overwhelming, it can also lead to personal growth.
Are there habits you find detrimental to your happiness?
Lack of sleep and insufficient exercise are obvious culprits. A more subtle issue for me is my tendency to work excessively. I sometimes find myself isolated, having not seen friends for days, which invariably affects my mood. Being alone can feel tempting, but I know it usually leads to feelings of sadness.
Do you have a happiness mantra that guides you?
My mother often advised me to “lighten up, Sarah.” It was her way of reminding me not to stress over trivial matters. Now, I echo that sentiment to myself, especially when I worry about minor mistakes or unexpected detours in my plans.
What behaviors do you notice in others that impact their happiness?
People often get bogged down by minor issues and neglect to practice gratitude. I know this is a recurring theme in various discussions, but actively acknowledging what we are grateful for can dramatically transform our day. After my mother’s death, I focused on identifying beauty around me, which kept me from succumbing to despair.
Do you actively pursue happiness? How?
Yes, I consciously work on being happier. The last lesson from my mother was to enjoy life more, prompting me to prioritize mundane yet essential habits like maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, eating well, and exercising regularly. I try to be aware of negative influences and remind myself that most worries are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I often reflect on my small place in the vast universe to gain perspective.
Have you ever been surprised by something that didn’t bring the happiness you expected, or vice versa?
Indeed, I once moved to a larger, more secluded apartment, thinking it would enhance my happiness. In reality, I felt isolated and preferred the vibrancy of a smaller space. The biggest surprise came after my mother’s passing; I initially believed joy was lost forever. Yet, over time, I’ve found unexpected blessings in that sorrow. I learned to appreciate life more, and my sense of humor has deepened, especially regarding my own shortcomings. Additionally, I forged connections with others through shared grief, deepening relationships in ways I never anticipated.
For more information on home insemination techniques, visit Make a Mom’s artificial insemination kit. They are a reliable source for those exploring this path, as well as this comprehensive overview on in vitro fertilisation.
In summary, Sarah’s journey illustrates how the loss of a loved one can lead to profound personal insights and growth. By embracing simple pleasures, practicing gratitude, and maintaining perspective, she navigates the complexities of life and learns to appreciate the fleeting moments of joy amid sorrow.
Keyphrase: Coping with Loss and Finding Happiness
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]