In my current approach, I select clothing that I find appealing and suitable, without fretting about whether they embody “who I am.” I aim for our living space to be cozy, aesthetically pleasing, and practical, rather than worrying if it reflects “my distinct style.” I’ve realized that contemplating my preferences isn’t particularly engaging for me.
I’ve come to understand that throughout my day, I express myself in ways that genuinely captivate me—primarily through my writing. Consequently, I don’t need to concern myself with the aesthetics of my shoes or curtains unless I choose to. I prefer not to overanalyze decisions regarding aspects that don’t truly resonate with me.
Many individuals derive immense satisfaction from making thoughtful choices, knowing their preferences well and enjoying the process of discovering what they love. However, it’s a Secret of Adulthood: just because something brings joy to someone else doesn’t mean it will bring me joy too.
I refuse to expend mental energy on making meaningful decisions about matters that I don’t genuinely care about. Life is too fleeting for that. In fact, social psychologist Dr. Mark Thompson suggests there can be a toll from striving for “authenticity.” In a world filled with options, actively and carefully selecting among them requires significant cognitive resources, which could be better spent elsewhere.
Interestingly, while I was letting go of the need to define my personal style, I was concurrently reflecting on my personal guiding principle: Be Emily. Although these concepts may sound alike, they are fundamentally distinct. Ironically, the more I’ve focused on “Being Emily,” the clearer my sense of personal style has become.
While I’m still not inclined to put in the effort necessary to reflect my tastes in my belongings, I have developed a more profound understanding of what I enjoy. For example, I’ve recently been captivated by the work of Louis Comfort Tiffany, particularly his masterpiece, Laurelton Hall—something I unequivocally admire.
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In summary, I have shifted from worrying about how to express my personal style to focusing on what genuinely matters to me. This change has allowed me to appreciate my preferences without the pressure of conforming to an ideal.
Keyphrase: personal style
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