When someone inquires about my well-being, my go-to response is, “I can’t complain.” And truly, I have little reason to. We have shelter, food, a supportive partner, and healthy children. I prefer to focus on gratitude rather than grievances.
Recently, I’ve observed that complaining has become a common form of interaction. We find ourselves lamenting the weather—whether it’s too rainy or too dry—or grumbling about a slow cashier, subpar restaurant service, long carpool lines, excessive homework, or mountains of laundry. I am just as guilty as anyone else; I frequently voice my frustrations about the sweltering heat, my struggle with weight loss (especially since I’m not ready to part with my beloved wine or carbs), or the exhausting task of driving around town. Did I mention the forty-five-minute trek during rush hour for my son’s hockey practice?
While it’s normal to have a pity party occasionally, I’ve been making a conscious effort to curtail my complaints. I remind myself of my friend Sarah, who I met in seventh grade. Sarah was exceptionally intelligent, particularly in English and History, kind-hearted, and had a great sense of humor. After high school, she attended a prestigious university and later became a beloved teacher, inspiring middle school students with literature. She was a devoted mother to three boys and actively engaged with our alumni community. Tragically, during her third pregnancy, she received a diagnosis of advanced breast cancer and passed away at just 39 years old, leaving behind a two-year-old son.
The last time I saw Sarah was at a gathering for a mutual friend’s birthday. Although her cancer was in remission then, she exuded warmth and positivity, fully present with her children. Sadly, her situation deteriorated quickly, and she was gone by Thanksgiving.
Whenever I’m inclined to complain about trivial inconveniences, I think of Sarah. Standing at the sink doing dishes, I remind myself that she would cherish the chance to be in my position. When my alarm goes off early on school days, and I feel overwhelmed with exhaustion, I remember how eagerly she would have traded places with me to wake her kids. Even during frustrating carpool trips, I reflect on how fortunate I am to experience these ordinary moments.
I am working on being more mindful of my words, aiming to shift my conversations toward positivity and appreciation. This is challenging, but it’s a conscious choice I’m making. It brings to mind a father I often see at my son’s hockey practices. Whenever I greet him and ask how he’s doing, he responds with, “Living the dream!” It may be said in jest, but it holds truth—many, including Sarah, could only dream of the life we live. So, when asked how I’m doing, I aspire to reply, “Living the dream! I can’t complain at all.”
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In summary, while it’s easy to fall into the trap of complaining, maintaining a focus on gratitude can greatly enhance our daily experiences. Reflecting on the lives of others who faced greater challenges encourages a shift in perspective, reminding us of the value in our ordinary moments.
Keyphrase: Parenting Gratitude
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