Updated: August 19, 2015
Originally Published: November 13, 2014
As a child, I often found myself lost in thought, particularly about the inevitable reality of death. While I was not afraid of physical harm, the concept of my consciousness ceasing to exist filled me with a profound uneasiness. Even now, as an adult, this apprehension lingers, particularly during those quiet, introspective moments before sleep.
Is Fear of Death Rational?
To delve deeper into this fear, I sought insights from the philosophical realm, particularly from Dr. Samuel Rivers, a professor who offers an enlightening course on mortality available online. His teachings challenge us to examine the nature of fear and when it may be justified. For instance, fear of an approaching lion is rational, while fearing a childhood toy would not be.
Dr. Rivers posits that for fear to be rational, three criteria must be met:
- The subject of your fear must be objectively harmful or possess the potential for harm.
- There must be a reasonable likelihood that the feared event will occur.
- There should be a degree of uncertainty regarding the outcome.
Applying these principles to the fear of death suggests it may not be justified. While fearing the process of dying—such as experiencing pain—is understandable, fearing death itself is less rational. Death, in itself, is not inherently negative; rather, it signifies the absence of existence, which is a distinct concept. Furthermore, death is not uncertain; it is a certainty we all must face eventually.
How Can You Fear What You Won’t Experience?
When discussing death with others, I often hear a common refrain from those who claim to be unafraid: “What’s there to fear? You won’t be here to experience it!” While this perspective makes sense logically, it doesn’t alleviate my discomfort. Even if I’m not preoccupied with death daily, contemplating it in the stillness of night brings back that unsettling feeling.
I came to realize that my anxiety stems not from a fear of death itself but from the awareness of its inevitability. The thought of my own mortality disrupts my perception of existence and, for a moment, makes everything I take for granted feel fragile and contingent.
Is Gratitude the Only Relief?
The notion that I shouldn’t fear death because I won’t experience it doesn’t comfort me much. However, I have discovered that a practice of gratitude can help alleviate some of my distress. Acknowledging the preciousness of life and the experiences I have fosters an appreciation for my existence. So, when thoughts of death arise, I may still feel uneasy, but I am also grateful for the time I have.
Dr. Rivers concludes his discussions on death with a resonant thought: “The appropriate emotional response to our existence isn’t fear or anger; it is gratitude for the opportunity to be alive.”
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