Before becoming mothers, many women have strong opinions about how they’ll approach parenting. They observe other moms, like those dealing with toddlers throwing tantrums in grocery stores or flinging fries in restaurants, and confidently declare, “I will never be that person.” Alternatively, they may hear tales of a mom giving birth in a kiddie pool while simultaneously homeschooling and knitting, and they think, “That’s not for me.”
However, a few years into motherhood—after a marriage and perhaps some fertility journeys—you might find yourself ordering a home insemination kit while your toddler wails at the midwife’s office. Motherhood can transform your expectations and lead to experiences you never anticipated. Here are 15 rites of passage that many moms go through:
- You will find yourself maneuvering one of those oversized, car-shaped shopping carts through the grocery store, kids spilling out of the windows, all while bumping into every aisle. As much as you dread it, you’ll feel a pang of frustration when you discover all the carts are already in use.
- You will skip a meeting, parent-teacher conference, or coffee date, citing your baby as the reason. Forget how annoyed you used to be when coworkers used their kids as excuses—now, it’s a convenient scapegoat!
- You might unknowingly venture into public, possibly even for an important job interview, with stickers stuck to your backside, only realizing it after you get home for the night.
- You will find yourself catching your child’s vomit—possibly with your bare hands—in a public area that is ill-equipped for such emergencies. This could happen on an airplane, during holy communion at church, or even at that new Italian restaurant just down the street. And yes, the swimming pool scenario is the worst.
- You will exhaust every effort to prevent car naps, and if you fail to keep your toddler awake until you reach home, you’ll sit in the car reading while he sleeps, determined not to count that 20-minute drive as naptime.
- You will hurt yourself attempting to prove to your child that you can still engage in kid activities—be it pogo sticking, skateboarding, or climbing on jungle gyms, only to discover that your body is less forgiving than it used to be.
- You will inevitably encounter a fellow mom who becomes your nemesis. She seems to push every button and is inescapable—attending the same classes, sharing the same teams, and giving unsolicited advice that makes you want to scream.
- You will catch yourself sounding just like your own mother, and occasionally your father, especially when you start in on the classic, “turn off the lights!” refrain. Surprisingly, you’ll find peace in this transformation.
- You will show random strangers pictures of your children without them having to ask; it becomes second nature.
- You’ll find yourself in an unspoken competition over whose baby is superior with another mom at your Mommy & Me class. Despite knowing every child develops at their own pace, you can’t resist the urge to compare.
- You will begin referring to yourself as “Mommy,” often in the third person. Phrases like, “Mommy said it’s bedtime,” become part of your daily vocabulary.
- You will feel guilt for wanting solitude on Mother’s Day, realizing that instead of a chaotic breakfast in bed, you just wanted a peaceful morning to sleep in.
- You will feel dramatically uncool when you embarrass your middle schooler in public by doing something he once found awesome.
- You’ll cling to your child’s beloved toy while cleaning out the toy box, shedding tears over its worn condition and the memories it holds.
- You will inevitably tell a new mom to “cherish these moments; they pass so quickly,” even when you once despised hearing that same advice.
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Summary:
Motherhood is a journey filled with unexpected experiences and realizations. From navigating grocery stores in oversized carts to finding solace in your own mothering style, these rites of passage reflect the profound transformation that accompanies becoming a parent. Whether it’s catching vomit with your bare hands or showing off pictures of your kids to strangers, every moment contributes to the unique tapestry of motherhood.
Keyphrase: motherhood experiences
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]