The 5 Most Surprising Comments I’ve Encountered as a Gestational Surrogate

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Pregnancy is a fascinating and miraculous experience. I love everything about it—stretch marks, nausea, the physical changes, and even the labor process. The human body’s ability to nurture and develop an entire person in under a year truly amazes me. Feeling those little kicks and movements is nothing short of magical. However, I have no intention of bringing home another baby after having two delightful children of my own. Instead, I find joy in being a gestational surrogate, helping others achieve their dream of parenthood.

While gestational surrogacy is becoming more widely understood, there are still many misconceptions. Here are some of the most surprising comments I’ve received in this role:

  1. “How could you possibly give up a baby you’ve carried for nine months? That’s just wrong.”

    This question often arises from a place of misunderstanding. Think about it: would you be worried that your long-time babysitter might kidnap your child? Probably not. Surrogates usually have at least one child of their own before beginning the process, which helps them understand the realities of newborns. We form a bond with the baby, much like a babysitter would, but we know from the outset that this baby isn’t ours to keep. When you see the joy on the parents’ faces upon meeting their child for the first time, it becomes clear how rewarding this experience is.

  2. “But surely you must feel like it’s your baby?”

    The short answer is no. As a gestational carrier, I am not genetically related to the child I carry. The embryos are created using the intended parents’ or donors’ genetic material and implanted via IVF. It’s crucial to understand that I’m not “giving up” a baby; rather, I’m returning them to their rightful parents.

  3. “Isn’t surrogacy only for wealthy women and celebrities who want to avoid gaining weight?”

    While some individuals may think that way, the truth is far different. Most intended parents are everyday people facing challenges in starting their families—whether due to infertility, age, health issues, or other factors. They are diverse: gay couples, single fathers, and women who have faced significant health risks during childbirth. They are simply striving to build their families.

  4. “How much do you get paid? You must be making a fortune.”

    This question can be quite rude, akin to asking someone about their salary or personal beliefs. While medical expenses are covered by the intended parents, compensation for surrogates is not nearly as lucrative as some might think. The physical and emotional toll of surrogacy is challenging to quantify, and most people do this for reasons beyond financial gain.

  5. “Why don’t they just adopt?”

    This question often comes from those who have had biological children themselves. So, why didn’t you opt for adoption instead? Adoption can involve extensive emotional and bureaucratic hurdles. Many parents wish to have a biological connection with their child, allowing them to see traits passed down from their own families. A gestational surrogate assists in making this dream a reality.

Embarking on the surrogacy journey is filled with highs and lows. When the process concludes and the baby is in their parents’ arms, emotions can run high. It’s not about wanting to keep the baby, but rather joy in witnessing the miracle of life that we’ve helped bring forth. After the wild journey of pregnancy and the adjustment period, it’s likely that I would consider doing it all over again.

For those interested in learning more about the surrogacy process and options available, including home insemination techniques, you may want to check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re curious about DIY options, you can find more information on effective methods in our post about the home insemination kit.

Summary

Gestational surrogacy is a profound experience, filled with both joy and challenges. Misconceptions often arise, leading to unexpected questions. Surrogates are not only helping others build families but also finding fulfillment in the journey. The emotional rewards far outweigh the physical challenges, making surrogacy a unique and beautiful gift.

Keyphrase: gestational surrogacy experience

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