It’s time for a serious discussion about why mothers deserve a raise. After carefully evaluating the myriad roles we take on as parents, it’s clear that our contributions far exceed any arbitrary salary figure that’s been floating around online.
Professional caregivers may share some of the responsibilities we handle at home, but let’s break it down. Personal chef? Absolutely. I whip up meals daily. Personal assistant and errand runner? You bet—I navigate the aisles of local stores with ease. Cleaning lady? While my husband might overlook my less-than-perfect cleaning skills out of love, I wear that title too.
When it comes to home repairs or maintenance, I’ve learned the hard way to avoid electrical work after a shocking incident. However, I’m the go-to person for unclogging drains and retrieving toys from toilets. Thank goodness for search engines; they’ve helped me tackle just about any household mishap.
Let’s get real. I’m not talking about the usual job roles; I mean the specialized tasks that require a unique skill set—often accompanied by hefty fees if handled by professionals.
I’ve dealt with some rather unpleasant situations, including direct encounters with messes. Home healthcare workers might earn around $27/hour for similar duties. If I estimate the hours spent on this front, especially during the baby and potty-training years, it comes to approximately $2,700 annually for the less-than-glamorous job of catching bodily fluids. Honestly, I believe this job should come with a higher pay grade or at least a HazMat suit and an endless supply of hand sanitizer.
There’s also the discipline aspect, where I frequently embody the role of Bad Cop. My routine of administering time-outs and setting boundaries has only become more complex over time. Managing two young children simultaneously often feels like a full-time job in itself. Interestingly, dominatrixes charge anywhere from $150 to $300 per hour to enforce rules, yet I’m doing it for free. That’s an estimated $164,250 in unpaid wages for maintaining order in my household.
And let’s not forget the physical hazards of parenting—urine in my eye, for example. If hiring someone to remove water or mold from a home can cost around $500, how much should I be compensated for dealing with bodily fluids in my face?
I’ve scooped up messes that would make any professional cringe. For instance, I’ve cleaned an Exersaucer after a particularly unfortunate incident without any protective gear. Shouldn’t I be billing for overtime for that?
Handling vomit is another reality of parenthood. NYC cab drivers charge a $50 clean-up fee for any mess in their vehicles. If my hands are essentially vehicles for transporting children, shouldn’t I be compensated similarly for each time I’ve had to catch vomit?
Bath time is another circus act. It’s a slippery endeavor with wiggly kids, and I should be recognized for my acrobatics to prevent any accidents during this daily routine. Cirque du Soleil performers earn about $72,000 annually, which seems fair considering the number of baths I manage yearly.
My job also includes constant vigilance against potential dangers to my children. Professional baby-proofers typically charge $75/hour. If we calculate that across 24 hours every day, that’s a significant amount of unpaid labor.
Hotels impose hefty fees for messes, so what about the chaos my kids create at home? The same logic applies to cleaning fees for rental cars. If I don’t regularly clean out the remnants of snack time and toys, I could be charged hundreds.
In summary, if we add up all the duties and responsibilities I manage at home, the total would far surpass the crumbs and occasional thumbs-up I receive. It’s high time we recognize the invaluable work mothers do and advocate for a salary that reflects our countless contributions.
For more information on navigating the journey of parenthood, consider checking out other posts on our site, such as those on fertility and home insemination. You can learn more about the process here or explore resources on pregnancy here. If you’re considering starting a family, be sure to look at this authority on home insemination.