Dear Parent Who Enjoys Snow Days,
I appreciate your perspective. However, I find it a bit perplexing. You appear to be an ordinary person, but when news of a snow day arrives, you seem to radiate joy. To assist in bridging our understanding, I would like to clarify the implications of a snow day.
When school is canceled, children remain at home with you.
If your reaction to this information is still one of cheerfulness, I can only conclude one of the following scenarios:
- You are employing sarcasm.
- You have a job outside of the home.
- You have a nanny.
- You are on a different level of medication than I am.
- Your children have restrained you and are responding on your behalf.
There must be no other explanation! To foster understanding, I will outline why my response is not one of joy, but rather exasperation:
- I have no desire to become a short-order cook.
- I need to focus on my writing, which is impossible amidst the cries over broken bands from the Rainbow Loom.
- I prefer to use the restroom without an audience.
- I feel guilty allowing my children to binge on movies or video games, yet, the incessant chatter is overwhelming.
- I must share my snacks, which is simply unfair.
I hope this clarifies my standpoint. If you cannot relate due to your current activities, such as preparing hot cocoa for an elaborate blanket fort, may I kindly request to drop my kids off at your residence? Just for the day, of course. (Unless, of course, school is canceled again tomorrow.)
Warm regards,
Lila
In Conclusion
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Keyphrase: Understanding Snow Days
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