When our youngest child, Ethan, graduated from college, it marked the end of my role as a “mom” who managed his daily activities. No longer was I responsible for his allowance, reminding him of medical appointments, or encouraging him to engage in everyday tasks like sending thank you notes, depositing checks, or even getting his car washed.
Raising Ethan was a journey filled with defining moments that shaped him into the man he is today. From the time he was just 18 months old, when he was fitted for glasses to correct his lazy eye, to the year he wore a patch to preschool, his early challenges were significant. I recall the day he started kindergarten at age five, making friends he still cherishes. At eight, he walked to school alone for the first time, and at 14, he hit a triple in his last little league game. However, life brought its challenges too—like saying goodbye to his beloved grandfather at 15 and facing a stress fracture in his femur during his senior year football season.
Fast forward to nearly 22 years old: Ethan was on the verge of graduating with a job that he truly loved waiting for him. If someone had told me four years earlier, when he began college, that he would achieve this, I might have doubted it. While I always believed in his capabilities, he seemed somewhat unfocused back then. Watching him walk into his college dorm, all 6’2″ of him, filled me with concern about the challenges ahead.
As parents, my husband and I tried to anticipate every possible issue Ethan might encounter during his freshman year. We hovered, like protective helicopters, ready to assist him through the bumpy transition to independence. However, during his junior year, he made the smart decision to return to the university after a semester at community college, and that’s when we finally made a pivotal choice.
We decided to step back. We remained available for support when he reached out, but we refrained from intervening in every situation. This was a crucial moment of trust; we allowed him to navigate his own path. Remarkably, as we loosened our grip, Ethan began to find his clarity. It was as if I had adjusted the focus on a pair of binoculars, allowing me to see him more clearly.
For parents of older children—especially those who may seem a bit lost—the key is to foster trust and belief in their abilities. Encourage them to discover their own solutions and to learn from mistakes without rushing to their rescue. Allow them to pursue their passions and develop their independence. The most valuable gift we can offer is the freedom to grow and thrive on their own terms.
As you navigate parenting during these pivotal years, consider exploring additional resources related to fertility and home insemination. For more information on pregnancy and related topics, visit ACOG’s page on treating infertility. Also, if you’re interested in home insemination, check out this article from one of our other blog posts. For men looking to enhance fertility, this fertility booster is highly recommended.
In summary, the most beneficial step we took for our son during his college years was to give him the space to grow. By allowing him to face challenges independently, we fostered his development into a confident adult.
Keyphrase: Best decision for college-aged son
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