While a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes at your local café may not equate to a natural disaster, it can certainly disrupt your morning routine. First World Problems—like learning from a friend that the latest Tory Burch bags have sold out or experiencing Wi-Fi outages just before purchasing concert tickets—often warrant a few frowny-face emojis. However, as someone who grew up in the ’80s, I face unique frustrations that others from less iconic decades may not understand. Here are 18 First World Problems that are distinctly familiar to those raised in the ’80s:
- Channel surfing late at night only to find the unedited version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High playing, yet knowing you have to rise at 5 a.m. for work.
- Accepting that, regardless of your weight, your partner will never recreate Patrick Swayze’s iconic lift with you from Dirty Dancing.
- Asking your kids to record a show for you and realizing they have no clue what “tape” means. You resign to say “forget it” because translating it to “DVR” feels too painful.
- Discovering a disposable camera in an old box and coming to terms with the fact that you’ll never see those photos, as film development is a thing of the past.
- Encountering modern versions of your childhood toys at the store and questioning the need for “upgrades” to classics like My Little Pony.
- Feeling a twinge of indignation when you hear Smells Like Teen Spirit on the ’80s radio station when it undoubtedly belongs in the ’90s category.
- When someone admits they haven’t seen Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, you’re torn between pity and the urge to confront them.
- Fantasizing about your life with your childhood crush, only to find yourself in sweatpants and buying feminine hygiene products while chasing kids. (Seriously, how does Rob Lowe still look so good?)
- Knowing that lawn darts are banned, depriving your children of the thrill of dangerously fun activities.
- The local skating rink has turned into a dingy place, making it impossible to relive your roller-skating glory days with your kids.
- Electric Youth perfume is no longer available, and most people don’t even remember who Debbie Gibson is.
- You can’t create mixtapes from XM Radio anymore, which is a huge letdown for an ’80s kid.
- Realizing how much luggage space you could utilize for family trips if your kids could sit in the back like you did in your mom’s station wagon.
- Coming to grips with the irreplaceability of your beloved Caboodle when it finally breaks down, as the new versions are flimsy.
- Hearing Footloose in a grocery store and finding it impossible to focus on shopping until you’ve danced like Kevin Bacon in the aisles.
- Facing more awkward discussions with your kids about sensitive topics than your parents did, especially since afterschool specials are a thing of the past.
- While shopping for wine, you can’t help but wish for scratch-and-sniff labels to guide your choices.
- Waking up craving Pizzarias Chips or Jell-O Pudding Pops can be frustrating when they’re no longer available.
It’s as if you long for a place where everyone knows your name, but no one around you remembers Cheers. To cope with the nostalgia of these ’80s-inspired First World Problems, indulge in reruns of classic TV shows on platforms like Netflix and remember you’re not alone in your experiences. Relive the best moments of your youth while leaving the not-so-great behind. While some ’80s fashions have resurfaced, let the wisdom of experience—and old photographs—guide you in avoiding certain past trends. Unlike the youngsters flaunting neon jumpsuits on social media, we’ve learned a thing or two.
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Summary
Individuals raised in the ’80s experience unique First World Problems that highlight the challenges of nostalgia, cultural shifts, and the evolution of technology. From longing for childhood toys to grappling with modern parenting dilemmas, these experiences are a testament to the distinctiveness of that era.
Keyphrase: First World Problems of the ’80s
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