As we reflect on the past, it’s easy to indulge in a bit of nostalgia and reinterpret our experiences. That unfortunate hairstyle you rocked in your school photo can be brushed off as a testament to the ’80s love for big hair. The senior quote that seemed profound at the time but now feels cringeworthy? Well, we call it “irony” now, don’t we?
Embracing our past is one of the perks of aging, but some musical choices remain undeniably awkward. While I was an early fan of bands like Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots, I also found myself at more than one concert of bands like Poison and anxiously waiting to see the members of Quench get on their tour bus. We all carry our own musical skeletons hidden away like relics from a bygone era, tucked behind vintage tees and posters of long-forgotten icons.
Let’s shine a light on these uncool tracks that we just can’t quit!
1. ‘Sister Christian’ by Night Ranger
Let’s be real—this song was never cool. Sure, it topped the charts in Canada and features talented musicians with impressive backgrounds, but that won’t stop me from belting it out at Taco Bell’s drive-thru. “What’s my price for flight?” you ask, Night Ranger? Clearly, my dignity is on the line here.
2. ‘How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?’ by Michael Bolton
Who can deny the soulful charm of late ’80s Bolton? The hair, the voice, the fact that he once opened for Ozzy Osbourne—he had it all. Yet, he’s almost a legend of uncoolness. Michael Bolton is a unique talent with a great sense of humor, but cool? Not a chance. But when I hear this emotional ballad, I couldn’t care less about coolness.
3. ‘Conga’ by Miami Sound Machine
Before Gloria Estefan became a household name, she and her husband Emilio introduced us to irresistible island rhythms. Publicly, I pretended to be annoyed by the song’s overwhelming popularity, but privately? I was Conga-ing through my house, grocery store, and even while sunbathing at the beach. These days, it’s a blend of nostalgia and homesickness, but I happily follow Gloria’s advice and just go with the flow.
4. ‘God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll to You II’ by Kiss
This one is a mixed bag. Enjoying Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was cool; liking its sequel, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey? Not so much. I loved both, especially this Kiss cover featured in the sequel. It’s over-the-top and wonderfully silly. Whether or not God placed rock and roll in everyone’s soul, I’ll take Paul Stanley’s word for it.
5. ‘Friends in Low Places’ by Garth Brooks
Is Garth Brooks cool? Opinions vary. If you pride yourself on being emo, alt, or metal, you might say no. Still, this crossover hit about celebrating with friends after a breakup has universal appeal. Everyone knows the lyrics and joins in when it plays on the jukebox, even if few will admit it. (More places should have jukeboxes these days.)
This article originally appeared on June 4, 2005, but its essence remains timeless.
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In summary, embracing our musical past, no matter how uncool it may seem, is a part of our journey. These songs, while awkward, remind us of moments in our lives that shaped who we are today.
Keyphrase: 80s songs nostalgia
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