My son, who is eleven years old, identifies as a trans boy. He came out to us a year ago and has since socially transitioned. Here, I address some frequently asked questions I’ve received regarding his journey.
How can you be sure this isn’t just a “phase”?
Long before we understood the term transgender, our son was vocal about his identity. He consistently expressed that he was not a girl, showing a persistent and unwavering sense of self through his choices in play, clothing, and preferences over several years.
What support did the school provide during his transition?
When I first informed my son’s teacher about his transgender identity, the initial response was a mix of concern and support: “I want to help him, but I must protect the other students.” Fortunately, our progressive state has laws in place to protect transgender youth. Our school district respected our wish for him to attend a different school where he could remain non-disclosing. He has flourished in this new environment, thanks to a supportive teacher and principal, as well as a group of friends who are unaware of his transgender status. However, he has overheard some unkind comments from peers about transgender individuals. Thankfully, he has an excellent therapist to help him navigate these challenges.
What will happen when he reaches puberty?
To ensure his emotional and social well-being, he sees a therapist, a pediatrician, and a physician specializing in transgender youth. He hasn’t yet required hormone therapy, as he hasn’t entered Tanner stage two of puberty.
Tanner what?
The Tanner stages are a set of physiological markers used to assess development, which can be identified visually or through blood tests. Most transgender youth begin using puberty blockers when they reach Tanner stage two.
Will you force him to take hormones?
Our focus is on collaborating with healthcare professionals who understand our son best to determine his needs and desires. Transitioning involves both social and medical aspects. Typically, the first step for trans youth is social transition—changing names, pronouns, and presentation. Later phases may include puberty blockers to delay the onset of puberty, followed by cross hormones—testosterone for trans boys and estrogen for trans girls—usually started during the teenage years.
What if he decides he doesn’t want to be transgender anymore?
If that were to happen, we would support him unconditionally, knowing we’ve done our best to affirm his identity. Research shows that de-transitioning is rare, and as informed parents, we are committed to his well-being.
How have friends and family reacted?
The reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. I was pleasantly surprised to see even older relatives eager to learn about transgender issues. Friends and family from strong religious backgrounds have also shown support. A few individuals have questioned our support for his journey, but that reflects their own issues rather than ours.
Is he gay?
At this point, he is uncertain. He might be heterosexual and attracted to girls, homosexual and interested in boys, or pansexual, drawn to individuals regardless of their gender identity. Gender and sexual orientation are separate aspects of identity, and he will discover his sexual orientation in his own time, with our unwavering support.
Why do you keep his transgender identity private?
We don’t hide his identity; we respect his privacy. He is a boy, and the details regarding his biological makeup are personal matters. Everyone has aspects of their lives they choose to keep private, and our children deserve that same right. For those who know transgender individuals, it’s essential to respect their privacy and not share their past experiences without consent.
As Zeke Smith, a transgender man, stated, “A person’s gender history is private information and it is up to them, and only them, when, how, and to whom they choose to disclose that information.”
This perspective has significantly shaped my understanding of my son’s right to privacy.
In conclusion, supporting my son in his journey as a transgender boy has brought about many questions and challenges, but it has also deepened our family’s love and understanding. For more insights on family planning and fertility, consider checking out this resource. You can also learn about pregnancy and home insemination at this excellent source or explore related topics in this informative article.