As a parent of two young children, I’ve developed a little game that has become my guilty pleasure amidst the chaos of daily life filled with poopy diapers and the remnants of spit-up on my clothes. This newfound pastime might stem from my feelings of isolation, some lingering postpartum blues, or perhaps the abundance of lactation cookies that seem to multiply in my kitchen. Whatever the reason, I’m thoroughly enjoying this game—and my waistline seems to agree.
The premise of the game? A cookie dough binge.
Objective: Consume as much cookie dough as humanly possible. Extra points for finishing an entire bowl in one day and even more for devouring it all in one sitting.
Rules: Aim to enjoy cookie dough during the 22 approved moments (listed below), but feel free to indulge at any other time. You can grant yourself double points for special circumstances. Bonus points go to those who successfully conceal the cookie dough from their children.
Here are the 22 moments when it’s perfectly acceptable for parents to dive into cookie dough:
- Solo Parenting: Your partner is away at work, leaving you outnumbered by your kids.
- Family Movie Night: Enjoy cookie dough while the whole family cozies up for a Saturday film. After all, relaxation calls for indulgence, right?
- Nap Time Struggles: Your child refuses to take a nap.
- Sweet Relief: You finally manage to get your kiddos down for a nap after a long morning.
- Screaming Symphony: Two or more children are wailing simultaneously for no discernible reason.
- Emotional Avalanche: The kids’ screams are making you feel like crying too.
- Minimal Lunch Success: Your toddler’s lunch consists of half a strawberry and a single cracker.
- Skipped Meals: You find you haven’t eaten anything yourself during this chaotic time.
- Theme Song Torture: The Daniel Tiger theme song is on repeat in your head, driving you to the brink.
- Precious Quiet: For a fleeting moment, the house is quiet as your toddler reads while the baby sleeps—a perfect time for a spoonful of cookie dough.
- Messy Home: Your living space resembles a disaster zone, but you lack the energy to tidy up.
- Cleaning Break: Grandma offers to watch the kids for an hour, and your home is clean and toy-free. That deserves a cookie dough celebration!
- End of the Day: You realize you haven’t showered all day.
- Shower Victory: After what feels like an eternity, you finally enjoy a shower. A self-pity scoop of cookie dough is in order.
- Park Outing Gone Wrong: You attempt a trip to the park, but your kids melt down due to exhaustion or hunger—reminder: always carry portable cookie dough!
- Model Mom Guilt: Spotting that perfectly put-together mom and daughter at the park makes you feel guilty about your own disheveled appearance.
- Guilt-Free Zone: You shake off the mom guilt realizing that others’ opinions don’t matter. Time to celebrate!
- Rushed Exit: You’re late for an appointment, but your toddler is taking forever to put on her shoes.
- Frustration Throw: Shoes are flung across the room in exasperation.
- Crying Mystery: You can’t figure out why your baby is crying.
- Teething Troubles: Your baby is cutting teeth, providing a ready excuse for the tears.
- Sick Household: Everyone is under the weather after Johnny’s mom sent her sick child to daycare. Not cool.
Speed Eating Round: When the day finally winds down and all the kids are asleep, you relish a few peaceful moments. If echoes of their earlier screams linger in your mind, consider that bonus points well-deserved. Enjoy those extra bites of cookie dough.
Let’s face it: Parenting is a challenging journey, and we all need our coping mechanisms—whether it’s earplugs, screen time, or indulging in cookie dough. If supporting our beloved Girl Scouts means enjoying a cookie dough binge now and then, I’m all in for another round!
Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any side effects from this game, including but not limited to nausea, stomach cramps, or lack of energy to engage with your kids.
Have you ever played this game?
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out this post on at-home insemination kits and explore other resources such as this well-rounded guide on pregnancy.
Summary
In this lighthearted article, we explore the 22 perfectly acceptable moments for parents to indulge in cookie dough, highlighting the challenges of parenting while also embracing the small joys that come with it. Amidst the chaos, a little indulgence can go a long way in maintaining one’s sanity.