Everyone talks about the challenges that come with having babies—the sleepless nights, teething troubles, and the possibility of colic. Friends offer advice on surviving those endless days and share their own stories over coffee.
As your child grows, toddlerhood introduces its own legendary hurdles, often referred to as the “terrible twos,” “tantrum threes,” and the notorious “fearsome fours.” You can hardly find someone who doesn’t have a story about navigating those early years.
Then comes the tumultuous tween phase—a time filled with shifting hormones, mood swings, and the social pressures of middle school. This is a period that many can relate to, and finding a sympathetic ear is usually easy.
The teenage years present an entirely new set of challenges, including dating, driving tests, college applications, and sometimes even issues like substance use. The gap widens between parents who appear to have it all figured out and those candid enough to admit they don’t. Support becomes crucial during these times, even if it sometimes feels elusive.
However, parenting an adult child is a different ball game. Your grown children may confront job losses, relationship struggles, or financial difficulties. By this stage, it seems both you and your kids should have everything sorted out. Stories of families with adult children facing hardships are scarce—perhaps out of embarrassment or a sense of shame about providing assistance.
There’s no definitive age at which you suddenly have it all together. Some people thrive at 22, while others might not find their footing until 32 or beyond. Many continue to grapple with challenges throughout their lives. I wish more parents would share their experiences of supporting adult children through tough times instead of only showcasing how perfect and well-adjusted everyone is.
As I approach 50, I still lean on my parents for support. Balancing a full-time job and managing my younger kids’ after-school activities would be nearly impossible without my mother’s help. There have even been times when they provided financial assistance during tough periods. If they are willing and able to lend a hand, should I really turn it down just because I’ve reached adulthood?
If I can offer a helping hand to my own adult children when they face challenges, why should I feel the need to justify that? Perhaps what they need isn’t another lesson in resilience or a confidence boost; maybe they just need their mom. If I can be there for them, why deny them that comfort to make a point?
There’s an old saying: “Home is where they have to take you in.” It’s not about achieving a certain level of success or reaching a specific age. My children don’t need to worry; it’s perfectly acceptable to both be a mom and to need one, and I’m proud to admit it.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that no matter your age, it’s okay to rely on family. The journey of parenthood is ongoing, and support from parents can be a lifeline during tough times.