My four-year-old daughter has a food allergy—specifically, a peanut allergy. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve likely noticed that food allergies, especially peanut allergies, have become increasingly common. In my own childhood, I can’t recall a single classmate with food allergies; today, however, it seems like you can’t go anywhere without encountering kids who have them. Current statistics indicate that one in 13 children suffers from some form of food allergy, which translates to about two kids per classroom. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported a staggering 50% increase in food allergies among children between 1997 and 2011.
That’s a significant rise—an “I can’t send my kid to school with a peanut butter sandwich” level of increase. I get it; it’s frustrating for everyone involved. It’s inconvenient—not just for parents like me, but also for the children who often feel marginalized or different because of their allergies. It’s annoying, right? But wait, is it wrong to feel that way? Absolutely. Being irritated by someone’s medical condition is completely unreasonable.
I can already predict the pushback. Trust me, since becoming a parent to a child with allergies, I’ve heard every opinion imaginable about my daughter’s condition. Some people, more than seems rational, believe that if your child has a food allergy, it’s because you’re a helicopter parent who keeps them indoors, drenched in hand sanitizer, and wrapped in bubble wrap whenever they leave the house.
Well, let me clarify: my daughter rolls in dirt and licks shopping cart handles just like any other kid. I’m no more of a helicopter parent than I am a mythical creature. In fact, I’m the type of parent who let my daughter try peanut butter before the recommended age. I consumed peanut butter sandwiches while pregnant and nursing, and yet she still developed an allergy. Sometimes, things just happen, and food allergies are among them.
I see myself as an “adventure parent”—a term I’ve coined to describe my parenting style, which is essentially the antithesis of helicopter parenting. I encourage my kids to explore the world, including its risks. Of course, I’m not sending them into harm’s way, but I do let them get dirty while building forts in the woods, spend hours swimming in the lake, or work on DIY projects using real tools.
My kids ride four-wheelers, run barefoot outside, and interact with bugs, frogs, snakes, and other creatures they discover in the yard. They learn valuable lessons through experience, and sometimes that includes scraping their knees. I assure you, my daughter’s food allergy is not a product of her “bubble” lifestyle. She is a spirited child, and I wholeheartedly embrace her adventurous—even reckless—spirit. When I ask if there are peanuts in the cookies, it’s not because I’m overprotective; it’s simply that I’d rather not spend another day in the ER over a cookie. It’s straightforward: fire is hot, so we don’t touch it; peanuts could be deadly, so we’ll skip the cookies.
And while we’re on the subject of commonsense, let’s address another point: unless you’re a scientist dedicated to researching food allergies, I don’t want to hear your theories. I have no interest in your friend’s brother’s peanut allergy story or the supposed causes you believe to be true. Actual researchers are working diligently to understand food allergies, and they have their own hypotheses. Unless you have a time machine, it doesn’t matter what you think caused my daughter’s allergy. I genuinely hope they discover the underlying factors so fewer children will have to endure this condition in the future. For my child, though, it is what it is. I teach her about her allergy to help her avoid it, and I ask questions to protect her because she means the world to me.
I am not a helicopter parent; I’m simply a parent navigating the complexities of raising a child with a food allergy. I wish more people could understand that.
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Summary:
This article discusses the challenges of parenting a child with a food allergy, emphasizing that the author is not a helicopter parent but rather an adventure-seeking parent. It addresses common misconceptions about food allergies and advocates for understanding and empathy. Through personal anecdotes and humor, the piece highlights the importance of educating children about their allergies while allowing them to explore the world.