When navigating the challenges of motherhood, many women face two significant hurdles. First, there’s the societal fantasy that motherhood is a seamless journey, complete with celebratory gender reveal cakes and perfectly curated family photos. Second, there’s a pervasive discomfort surrounding mental health issues. This fear often leads to misunderstandings, making it even more difficult for mothers to seek the help they need. In reality, nearly 1 in 5 women experience perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (like postpartum depression) during pregnancy or in the year following childbirth.
If you’re among those facing these struggles, you might find these outdated and unhelpful comments all too familiar:
- “You can just pray this away.”
- “Just snap out of it.”
- “You’re being too sensitive.”
- “Mental health treatment is for __________.” (Fill in the blank)
- “You’re too strong to need assistance.”
- “You’re being selfish.”
- “You’re fine; nothing’s wrong with you.”
- “You just have to push through.”
- “Think positive!”
- “This is supposed to be a joyful time.”
- “What did you do to bring this on?”
- “We don’t air our dirty laundry in public.”
- “Don’t embarrass our family.”
- “You just need to __________.” (get outside, exercise, eat better, sleep more, try harder)
- “But you’re not insane!”
- “Therapy is simply the easy way out.”
- “You’re being overly dramatic. Everything is okay.”
None of these statements provide the support you need. You deserve to prioritize your feelings. Here’s how to engage others in your journey to feeling better:
Start by explaining that perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are legitimate medical issues that affect many women. Dr. Sarah Thompson, a mental health expert, suggests opening the conversation with: “Many women experience these feelings; there are effective treatments available. I want to share my experience with you and need your support.”
Try using these conversation starters:
- “I’ve learned that a lot of women deal with depression and anxiety during or after pregnancy, and I think I might be experiencing something similar.”
- “I’ve been feeling really low, and I found out that this is not uncommon. I need your help to navigate through this.”
- “Taking care of my mental health is crucial for my family’s well-being. Can you assist me in this?”
Be aware that when people are frightened, they often withdraw. Just as you may struggle to acknowledge your feelings, those close to you might minimize your experiences to avoid confronting their concerns. Understanding their fears can help you discuss this sensitive topic more effectively.
Consider what motivates the people around you to support you. Some communities may not recognize mental illness or the importance of therapy. In such cases, frame it as a request for parenting support. If they resist the idea of medication, emphasize therapy as a viable option. If your community values collective well-being, explain that by supporting you, they’re enhancing the health of your family and, by extension, the community.
If all else fails, highlight your child’s welfare. Research indicates that untreated mental health issues in mothers can adversely affect their children’s emotional and behavioral development. When mothers receive appropriate care, their children thrive. Share this information or refer them to a healthcare provider to reinforce your need for help. For example, you might say, “My doctor believes that professional support will benefit both me and my baby.”
Let them know that effective treatment leads to quicker recovery than they might expect. The sooner you can convince someone to support you, the sooner you can move toward healing.
Recognize that it may be challenging for others to fully grasp your situation. Dr. Emily Carter notes that it’s tough for those who’ve never experienced it to understand an invisible illness. If your loved ones struggle to comprehend what you’re going through, adopt a factual approach. State clearly, “These are recognized symptoms of an illness that affects 20% of mothers. If I don’t seek help, it could worsen. I really need your assistance.”
If those around you remain unsupportive, it’s vital to prioritize your own well-being. Don’t wait for others’ approval to seek help; taking care of yourself is paramount. Keep searching for someone who’s willing to listen and assist you. If you can’t find that person, reach out to resources like Modern Family Blog for guidance.
Someday, the stigma surrounding mental health will fade, but you can’t afford to wait for that day.
In summary, it is crucial for mothers facing mental health challenges to communicate their needs clearly, educate those around them, and prioritize their own well-being for the sake of both themselves and their families.