When I was expecting, I attended a new mom orientation that left a lot to be desired. Among the many topics overlooked, no one warned me about the reactions I’d face for choosing not to cut my son’s hair. Honestly, it’s surprising how many unsolicited opinions I’ve received regarding his long locks. From family to strangers, everyone seems to have something to say about boys’ hair, turning it into a hot-button issue. So, I’m here to share the seven comments that have become all too familiar.
1. “Oh, your daughter is adorable!”
I understand that at a young age, distinguishing gender through appearance isn’t always easy. My son, at just two years old, lacks the stereotypical masculine features. However, it’s puzzling why people only assume he’s a girl when he’s dressed in camo or a “daddy’s little man” shirt.
2. “I thought he was a girl because he’s so pretty.”
When I correct someone about my son’s gender, I often hear this response. While I appreciate the compliment, it raises questions about why beauty is so gendered. Boys can be beautiful too, and I often tell him he is. It’s high time we broaden our understanding of beauty beyond outdated stereotypes.
3. “Can I touch his hair?”
Let’s be clear: children aren’t pets. Asking to touch a child’s hair, regardless of its texture, is inappropriate. I’ve heard from other parents, like Megan, whose son has curly hair, that it’s just as shocking for them. Kids should feel safe, and that includes their personal space.
4. “He’d look so much older with a haircut.”
He’s two years old. No haircut is going to magically transform him into a big boy. Toddlers are still figuring out their identities, and rushing that process isn’t necessary. Next, you might ask if he’s paying rent.
5. Any jokes about a secret haircut.
I’ve had family joke about what would happen if they babysat and decided to cut his hair. The answer? I’d be furious! Until my son can choose for himself, my partner and I decide how he looks. Joking about undermining our parenting isn’t amusing; it’s a quick way to lose babysitting rights.
6. “When will he get a haircut?”
I wouldn’t dream of asking someone when they’ll get rid of their spinach in their teeth or resolve their overdue parking tickets. My son’s hair is well-groomed and looks just as good as any toddler’s. Comments about his hair are as intrusive as inquiries about someone’s weight or fashion choices.
7. “You’re letting a child decide when to cut his hair?!”
Empowering children to make reasonable choices about their appearance is a vital part of authoritative parenting. For moms of boys with long hair, as long as it suits our sons, it suits us. “We’re not cutting it until he wants to,” says Sarah, another mom I spoke to. “We can’t even mention the word haircut; we say trim instead. He loves his curls, and if he’s happy, we’re happy.”
I refuse to let societal expectations dictate how my son should express his gender. As long as I take care of his hair and there’s no neglect involved, I don’t need your opinions. Parents of boys with long hair are doing just fine, thank you very much. If you’re curious about parenting topics, check out this article on home insemination, which can be helpful for those considering expanding their families.
In summary, moms of boys with long hair often face a barrage of unsolicited comments and advice that can be frustrating and intrusive. It’s essential to recognize that children express themselves in various ways, and parents have the right to make decisions that suit their family dynamics.