“How in the world will you cover the costs of all those weddings?” chuckled the hospital volunteer as I gazed at one of my premature triplet daughters in her incubator.
“Well, at this moment, my primary concern is getting them out of the NICU,” I replied. This marked the beginning of countless inquiries about how my husband and I would handle the wedding costs for our six daughters. I can bet that if you’re a mom with more than two girls, you’ve heard this too.
I understand where the question comes from; it serves as an easy icebreaker when chatting with someone who has multiple daughters. But let me be clear—I don’t lose sleep over it, and here’s why.
The Question is Based on Outdated Assumptions
At its core, the question of “how will you pay for all those weddings?” is laden with assumptions. First, who’s to say my daughters will grow up and want to get married in the first place? They might decide to elope (fingers crossed they still invite me), have intimate ceremonies, or even become self-sufficient millionaires who whisk my husband and me away to a tropical paradise for their wedding vows. That sounds delightful, and I’m rooting for that scenario! Or perhaps one or more of them will choose to remain single.
Moreover, who says a wedding must come with a hefty price tag? My husband and I, along with our parents, funded our wedding, which was a joyful occasion without financial stress. Extravagant weddings are a choice—not a necessity.
Long-Term Concerns Aren’t on My Radar Right Now
Do you fret about whether your sons will go bald someday? Or if your kids will want to have kids of their own? Those topics feel light years away, just like the idea of weddings. Right now, I’m focused on the daily hustle of teaching my daughters to eat their veggies, brush their teeth, and get to bed on time.
But yes, I have worries—plenty of them. I fret about screen time and the latest slime trend (seriously, can we move on?). I’m concerned about dental health and whether they’ll ever stop wetting the bed. I think about the challenges of navigating social dynamics and whether they’ll succumb to peer pressure.
I also ponder their teenage years and whether they’ll feel comfortable in their own skin. I worry about them learning to drive and standing up for what’s right, especially when it’s not popular. Plus, I’m anxious about the numerous social media apps that teens use for secret communication.
On a broader scale, I’m more concerned about supporting their higher education. College expenses are fixed and keep climbing annually, making them a pressing issue. I worry about my daughters’ self-worth in a world that often undervalues women and how they might face additional hurdles in their careers.
While weddings don’t keep me up at night, I do think about marriage. I hope my daughters don’t rush into it before truly understanding themselves. I want them to see marriage as a partnership, not just a milestone to check off.
So yes, I have my worries. Right now, I’m focused on homework battles and surviving the chaos of daily life. But weddings? That’s not something I stress over. It simply isn’t worth the worry.
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Summary
In this article, Taylor Jensen discusses the common question of how she will pay for her six daughters’ weddings. She emphasizes that the assumptions behind this question are outdated, as not all her daughters may choose to marry or have extravagant weddings. Instead, she focuses on immediate parenting concerns and the importance of supporting her daughters in their education and personal growth.