Updated: December 27, 2023
Originally Published: April 27, 2023
As I waddled into a conference room at seven months pregnant with my second child, the sweltering heat of a DC August day didn’t make things any easier. I squeezed into a chair only to notice, to my horror, three large sweat stains on my shirt and two Paw Patrol stickers adorning my dress, placed there by my toddler that morning. How could I forget to check myself before heading out? This was a warning sign: if I couldn’t manage these small details with one child, how would I cope with two?
In that meeting, I turned to my fellow mothers and asked, “How do you do it all?” What I really meant was, “How are you keeping your sanity intact?” They replied politely, but their answers left me wanting. Fast forward two years, and I’m still a working mom navigating the challenges of a full-time job, a long commute, and caring for kids in different daycares. Over time, I’ve come to realize the truth: I don’t get everything done. In fact, I’ve learned to strategically eliminate certain tasks from my life, allowing me to maintain some semblance of balance.
It’s important to acknowledge that letting go of these tasks is a privilege. I have the means to afford help, a supportive partner who values shared parenting, and healthy children. Not every mother has this luxury. However, even if you can cut back on just a few responsibilities, it can make a significant difference.
1. Cooking
For years, I struggled with how to get dinner on the table each night within the limited time frame between work and bedtime. My husband and I tried everything from bulk cooking on weekends to meal delivery kits, none of which worked well with our busy lives. Ultimately, I decided to forgo cooking entirely and subscribed to two meal delivery services that provide nutritious meals for both adults and kids twice a week. This change has been transformative, saving me time and reducing food waste.
2. Errands
I’ve stopped going to places like Target or the pharmacy altogether. Instead, I have everything delivered—from prescriptions to diapers. Grocery shopping is off my list too; I use delivery services like Instacart for snacks and lunches. My husband takes care of trips to Costco once a month, and I haven’t set foot in a grocery store for nearly a year. It’s liberating!
3. Cleaning
Admittedly, my house is often a mess. Toys cover the floor, laundry piles up, and I only fold clothes when absolutely necessary. My car resembles a snack factory, thanks to my two kids. However, every other Sunday, my husband and I dedicate a couple of hours to tidying up, and then a cleaning service comes through to restore order. I’ve learned that cleanliness doesn’t equate to tidiness, and I care less about having everything perfectly arranged.
4. Gym Time
I do manage to work out three to four times a week, but I made the decision to invest in a used treadmill and some gym equipment for my home. My workout space is small, but it serves its purpose. I used to waste time searching for workout videos online, but now I rely on a workout app that tells me exactly what to do each day. This investment has been worthwhile in terms of time saved.
5. Weekend Appearances
During the week, I dress up for work, but on weekends, I opt for comfort. My go-to outfits consist of sweatpants, sports bras, and t-shirts, allowing me to be ready for anything—whether that’s chasing after my kids or sneaking in a nap.
There are other areas I’ve let slide too, like maintaining a strict bedtime routine for my older child or ensuring my daughter is perfectly coordinated for daycare. Letting go of these small details has made a world of difference, enabling my husband and me to enjoy our family time fully.
I recognize that simplifying life in this way is a privilege, but for those in similar circumstances—parents striving for balance while managing demanding jobs—I encourage you to consider doing the same. Remember, your worth as a parent isn’t determined by how exhausted you feel, nor is your child’s happiness reliant on a spotless home. Focus on doing less and loving more.
For more insights on family planning, check out this helpful resource on home insemination kits. Additionally, if you’re interested in understanding the process of assisted reproductive technology, this is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination: What to Expect When You Have Your First IUI.
In summary, the journey of parenthood is about finding balance, letting go of unnecessary tasks, and prioritizing what truly matters—your family and the love you share.