Today, I experienced something that many with invisible illnesses fear—the moment when someone feels entitled to judge your circumstances based on appearances. A man confronted me for parking in a disability space, insisting I “look fine” and didn’t deserve it.
How It Unfolded
I had a medical appointment near a grocery store, and I decided to pick up a few essentials afterward. I possess a valid disability placard issued by my doctor due to my ongoing struggle with late-stage Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome. At 48, I find myself in persistent pain and overwhelming fatigue, making it essential to conserve my energy.
I’m cautious about using my disability tag. I often reserve it for my worst days, those when pain becomes nearly unbearable. Today was one of those days. I parked in a designated disability space located a short distance from the grocery store, mindful of the several available spots that were much closer but choosing to leave them open for others who might need them more urgently.
The Confrontation
After finishing my shopping, as I returned to my car, I noticed a man with a slight limp watching me. I don’t have visible injuries, and while I can walk without assistance, every step I take is accompanied by a toll of intensified pain. Suddenly, he shouted, “Why did you park in a disability space? You look fine to me!” He continued, “I can’t walk!”
I attempted to explain my situation, but he was already moving away quickly, seemingly more interested in venting his frustration rather than listening. Frustrated, I raised my voice to suggest he educate himself about chronic pain, Lyme disease, and fibromyalgia. I urged him to consider that not all disabilities are visible, but he was already too far away to hear my words.
Reflections on the Encounter
The encounter left me feeling defeated. As I drove away, tears filled my eyes, and I couldn’t help but reflect on the situation. I wondered why he didn’t choose a regular parking spot closer to the store he was visiting. I also couldn’t shake the irony of me struggling to keep pace with someone who claimed he couldn’t walk.
It struck me that this man, who should understand the challenges of living with a disability, opted to judge me without knowing my story. I couldn’t help but feel angered by the lack of compassion.
Raising Awareness
This experience has motivated me to consider writing to my local newspaper to raise awareness about the complexities of invisible illnesses. It’s crucial to remember that judging others without understanding their circumstances is unwise. For those of us navigating chronic pain and fatigue, life is challenging enough without facing unnecessary judgment from strangers.
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Conclusion
In summary, it’s vital to foster understanding and compassion. Just because someone appears healthy doesn’t mean they are free from struggles.