“Mommy, I wish I could be just like you.”
My 4-year-old often expresses this sentiment with wide-eyed admiration, particularly when she sees my favorite shoes, colorful nail polish, or when she’s captivated by my ability to command attention. While it’s heartwarming and flattering, it also weighs heavy on my heart. What she doesn’t realize is that, more than anything, I wish I could embody her spirit.
She’s fiercely determined, never taking no for an answer. This tenacity will undoubtedly serve her well in life, but it makes parenting her an incredible daily challenge. She stands her ground, refusing to let anyone diminish her self-worth or capabilities. She is unapologetically herself—singing at the top of her lungs on the train, proud to share her knowledge and creativity. Her confidence, intelligence, and keen observation of the world around her are remarkable. She knows what she wants and doesn’t settle for less (which can be a daily test of my patience).
I see her imitating my speech, my actions, and even how I care for her younger brother. She longs for a bag like mine and wants to push her stroller just as I do. It’s a bittersweet reminder that I don’t want her to become me. Sure, I can attract attention when I raise my voice, and I own some stylish shoes, but I’ve lost much of that fearless spark. I’m often consumed by worries, drained of energy, and burdened by resentments. I’ve allowed too many obstacles to deter me, settling for an average job and an unfulfilling relationship.
I wish I had her courage to never accept a no without a fight. I can’t help but wonder if, at one point, I too was as fearless as she is. This little girl, who refuses to wear pajamas and asserts herself among her peers, who finds immense joy in the simplest things, is my inspiration. She’s the one who taught herself to count to 100 to prove her worth to her older brother. This vibrant spirit who listens to her body when she’s full is who I aspire to be.
My hope is that she never loses that fire within her, that no one or nothing can extinguish her passion. As she navigates through life’s challenges—mean girls, difficult exams, and unpredictable situations—I wish for her to remain true to herself and recognize her self-worth. It’s undoubtedly a tough journey.
Bedtime can turn into an endless negotiation, filled with stickers, piles of books, cups of water, and an overwhelming number of stuffed animals. Yet, when she finally drifts off to sleep, I find solace in knowing she’s destined to change the world.
Sweetheart, I wish I could be just like you.
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