As a single mother, my four-year-old son has been attending daycare since he was just six weeks old. While my full-time job necessitates this decision, I want to clarify that even if I had infinite resources—like a dedicated housekeeper, a personal chef, or the luxury of lounging on my couch—I would still opt for daycare for my son. The advantages he gains from this experience significantly outweigh any potential drawbacks.
To illustrate, let me share a bit about the caregivers in his life. In his first year, he attended a home daycare with just a handful of other kids. His caregiver, whom we’ll call Sarah, quickly became someone I trusted and admired. Our casual chats during drop-off and pick-up allowed us to build a rapport, and I felt comfortable knowing she provided a nurturing environment. We parted ways only when we moved before his first birthday, but we remain connected through social media, allowing her to watch my son grow.
For the subsequent three years, he transitioned to a different home daycare three days a week and a daycare center two days a week. While I held a fondness for Sarah, my son has clearly developed a bond with his current caregiver, Lisa. He eagerly talks about her at home, shows her his new toys, and rushes into her house each morning. His best friend from daycare also attends, and while he was initially shy at the center, he now thrives there, recounting stories about his classmates and excitedly sharing news with his teachers.
Since our latest move, he now attends preschool five days a week, where he continues to flourish. After a short adjustment period, he quickly settled in, exhibiting happiness that reflects positively on me as a parent. His joy is only one part of the equation; there are numerous benefits to his daycare experience. For example, I recently received a picture from the daycare showing him delightfully immersed in a giant bin of flour. I found it hilarious and thought, “There’s no way I’d allow that mess in my home!”
Throughout the year, he has engaged in countless enriching activities—making jam from fresh strawberries, finger-painting, and visiting a Christmas tree farm. At preschool, he is learning Spanish and sign language, playing outside daily, and mastering numbers and letters alongside his peers. He often comes home singing nursery rhymes that I never introduced to him, demonstrating the breadth of learning he is absorbing. He’s also gaining essential life skills, such as sharing, interacting with adults and peers, and navigating social situations.
I’m well aware that many stay-at-home parents (SAHPs) actively create enriching experiences for their children. A friend recently shared a video of her son playing with a long bendy tube, experimenting with water and air pressure while bursting into laughter—a perfect example of engaging home learning.
This isn’t a critique of SAHPs; rather, it’s a realization of my limitations as a parent. Although I adore my son beyond measure, I struggle with certain aspects of parenting—like patience and noise tolerance. I also tend to be introverted and occasionally indulge in too much screen time. While these traits aren’t ideal for raising small children, they don’t diminish my dedication to motherhood.
Some may argue that I should have considered these traits before becoming a parent, but such a notion is misguided. Parenting is not just for the idealized figures of June Cleaver or Mary Poppins. My son and I enjoy plenty of fun activities together, whether baking cookies, attending children’s theater, or enjoying library playdates. He has toys, books, and crayons to keep him busy, but the reality is that I cannot provide him with the well-rounded experiences that daycare offers. Thus, I invest in professional care.
Of course, sending your child away for hours each day carries risks. However, every aspect of life involves some level of risk. Driving with a child in the car is statistically one of the most dangerous activities, yet we all do it. Rather than attempting to eliminate risk, we should focus on managing it effectively. We ensure car seats are used correctly, helmets are worn, and we select licensed daycare facilities that conduct thorough background checks on their staff. For me, the minimal risk associated with preschool is outweighed by the plethora of benefits my son is reaping.
I recognize that I am fortunate to afford high-quality childcare, a privilege not every parent shares. This disparity points to a larger societal issue: many parents struggle to find or afford safe, enriching daycare options for their children. Addressing this concern is crucial for the well-being of our future generations.
In summary, my decision to send my son to daycare is driven by a desire to provide him with a rich, fulfilling childhood experience that I, as a single mother, am unable to offer entirely on my own. The benefits he gains through socialization and learning far outweigh the risks involved.