A few years back, I had a conversation with a young intern named Sarah who worked for me during her college years. I was sharing my struggles with sleep deprivation due to our new baby, who was waking up every couple of hours for feedings and diaper changes. Sarah, at just 19 years old and without any children of her own, offered what she thought was a brilliant solution: “Why don’t you just sleep when the baby sleeps?”
Her grin suggested she felt she’d just cracked the code to my sleepless nights. Honestly, part of me wanted to express my frustration with her naivety. I imagined dropping my baby off at her house for 24 hours, just to see her bleary-eyed and exhausted the next day, then relishing the irony of her advice.
I was utterly fatigued. My eyes were bloodshot, and the weariness I felt ran deep. The nights of broken sleep seemed endless, and the thought of this being my reality for the foreseeable future was daunting. Yet, here was Sarah, who had just complained about being tired from sleeping too long. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
Back in my office, I felt the weight of all my responsibilities pressing down on me. I wanted to explain to her that while she might think her advice was helpful, it was utterly impractical. I work full time, so those precious nap times for the baby often coincided with my work hours. And even when I returned home, I had two other children who needed my attention, completely oblivious to my exhaustion. They demanded snacks, screen time, and often argued over who got the best seat in the house.
Household chores didn’t magically disappear just because the baby was sleeping. Dishes piled up, laundry awaited folding, bills needed to be paid, and meals had to be prepared. When the baby was awake, it was nearly impossible to get anything done, as they clung to me, vying for my attention and care. Sure, I could carry the baby in a wrap, but they often fidgeted, leaving me struggling to manage with one free hand. I longed for a moment of solitude, just to breathe, read a book, or even scroll through social media without interruption.
The truth is, many people don’t grasp the complexities of parenting until they experience it themselves. Before becoming a parent, I would hear other parents talk about their fatigue, but they never delved into the chaotic reality of caring for an infant. I realized that it was likely because they, too, were too exhausted to share the full story.
In that moment, facing Sarah and her well-meaning suggestion, I simply thanked her and nodded in acknowledgment, while internally battling feelings of irritation.
If you’re facing similar challenges, you’re not alone. Sleep deprivation can feel overwhelming, and while advice from those without kids may seem well-intentioned, it often misses the mark. For more insights on managing parenting challenges, check out this excellent resource on IVF and home insemination: What the IVF Process is Really Like. Additionally, if you’re considering options for starting a family, take a look at our post about at-home intracervical insemination syringe kits. For more parenting tips and strategies, visit Modern Family Blog.
In summary, the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps” is often oversimplified and fails to account for the myriad of responsibilities that come with parenting. It’s crucial to acknowledge the real struggles parents face and approach the topic with empathy and understanding.