Every now and then, I find myself marveling at how incredibly bright my children are. In those moments, I can’t help but think, “Maybe one of them will attend an Ivy League school.” However, I quickly remind myself that my kids are just 5 and 11, and such predictions are quite fanciful. More importantly, I recognize that even if they continue to shine academically, attending an elite college doesn’t guarantee future success or happiness.
At 40, I’ve learned that the institution you attend—or even whether you attend college at all—doesn’t solely dictate your life trajectory. We need to stop perpetuating the myth that chasing perfect grades and admission to prestigious universities is the only path to a fulfilling life.
Take my partner, Alex, and me as an example. We went to high school together and are the same age. Alex attended an Ivy League institution, while I chose a public university. Despite our different educational backgrounds, we both excelled academically and earned master’s degrees—Alex from another prestigious university and I from the same public institution.
Today, I work part-time from home, while Alex is in a full-time role. Surprisingly, our incomes are quite similar, and we’ve both achieved comparable success in our careers. The stark difference is that Alex carries twice the amount of student debt I do. After almost 20 years since graduation, they are still grappling with the financial consequences. If you were to ask Alex if their Ivy League experience was “worth it,” I’m not sure they would give an affirmative answer.
Of course, experiences vary. Many individuals attribute their success to degrees from renowned institutions. However, there’s no universal guarantee that a prestigious degree ensures a prosperous future. Numerous successful individuals have thrived without college degrees, proving that success isn’t solely tied to education.
Research supports this notion. A Time Magazine article highlighted that studies show a minimal correlation between the type of college attended and future achievements. According to a Pew Research Center study from 2013, graduates from both private and state colleges had similar outcomes in income, job satisfaction, and overall happiness. Additionally, data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2016 revealed that only 21% of jobs require a Bachelor’s degree, debunking the myth that a four-year degree is essential for employment.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t encourage our children to pursue higher education if they feel drawn to it. Personally, my college experience was invaluable—not just for career preparation, but for expanding my worldview. I had remarkable professors who shaped my thinking, and I want my children to have similar opportunities if they choose that path. However, I won’t pressure them to apply to college just because it’s expected, nor will I push them toward the most elite institutions simply for prestige.
Ultimately, success in life is about cultivating passions, demonstrating resilience, and channeling those attributes into meaningful endeavors. For some, college is a vital component of that journey, while for others, it simply isn’t necessary. We must stop misleading our children—and ourselves—into believing that college is the only route to happiness and prosperity. It’s not.
Summary
In essence, it’s crucial to communicate the truth about college to our children. While higher education can offer valuable experiences, it’s not the only pathway to success. We should encourage a balanced perspective, allowing them to explore their passions and understand that their worth and potential extend far beyond the walls of any institution.