When you’re casually dating someone, you might only notice a few of their quirks. Perhaps they have a habit of biting their nails when anxious, or they enjoy watching less-than-stellar movies. Up to this point, these traits seem endearing—just charming bits of the person you find irresistibly cute.
However, once you’re deeply and passionately in love, that’s when you truly discover how irritating they can be. The moment I realized I was in love with my partner, my true self emerged, much to their surprise. For instance, I have a tendency to steal the blankets from anyone sharing the bed, much like a wild animal. I also wake up annoyingly cheerful every morning, often tuning out crucial details when my partner talks about car maintenance or recipes. Details? Not my forte.
On the flip side, my partner revealed that, upon falling in love, he would finally confess his inability to put clothes away and his intense reaction to any food waste in the fridge. It’s a serious trigger for him. Plus, he insists on having music playing constantly—which is fine, except when it’s all the time.
Love can be chaotic and frustrating; it never seems to put away its wet towel. It’s about sharing laughter through perfect impressions of each other that almost make you pee your pants. It’s also those dull, dreary mornings when both of you prepare to face the day, wishing you could just bury yourselves under the blankets and sleep indefinitely.
Love feels effortless, like slipping into your favorite cozy sweater or snagging that perfect parking spot at a busy shopping center. Yet, it can also be painfully challenging, especially when stubbornness rears its head and the need to be right becomes unbearable, prompting thoughts of tossing their things onto the lawn.
Cooking together is another facet of love. Sometimes it’s a mad dash to heat leftovers to circumvent the “food waste” debate, while other times, it’s pouring your heart into a meal you know they’ll adore. Love is also about not making snarky comments when your partner sings terribly off-key. It’s that sweet relief you feel when you hear their car pulling into the driveway, especially when you were starting to worry.
Love is filled with passionate yet trivial arguments about silly things: paper towel usage, toilet seats, and misplaced socks. It thrives on inappropriate humor, seasoned over years, often shared in front of the kids—who remain blissfully unaware of the joke, making it even funnier.
There are times when you and your partner just don’t click, struggling to find that rhythm of working together as a couple. You might feel distant and grumpy, yet miss each other in your shared space. And then, out of nowhere, you reconnect, perhaps just holding hands for a few quiet moments, and suddenly you’re back on track.
Love means sometimes giving up the larger slice of pie or the best piece of chicken—not always, but occasionally. It’s about being acutely aware of another person, understanding their sighs, body language, laughter, and even their silence.
Sometimes, love requires doing things you’d rather avoid, simply because it brings them joy. It means knowing their favorite takeout order when they step away for a moment. Love can plunge into the depths of sadness too, fueled by hormones, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. You might find yourself in moments of intense frustration, wondering why you ever fell in love—until the clouds clear and you realize it’s all worth it.
Love is making spaghetti for the kids, even if you know your partner dislikes it. You might even toss a chicken breast in the oven just to be nice. It’s being vulnerable, both in the good and bad moments, laying everything bare after years together, and still believing when they say you are the most beautiful person they’ve ever known.
It’s planning for the future, imagining what life will be like when you’re 95, and committing to doing everything you can to make those dreams a reality. It could even involve raising children together, as they take over your lives and you find those quiet moments of connection amid the chaos—like a random Sunday morning over waffles.
Love encompasses so many experiences—good, bad, strange, and always evolving. If you happen to discover this elusive connection, cherish it. Even during the most challenging times, it’s a journey worth taking.