Parenting
If Your Child Struggles to Eat Lunch at School, You’re Not Alone
by Emma Johnson
Updated: Dec. 17, 2023
It’s a familiar scene in my household. Every day, I unbox my kindergartner’s lunch only to find a disaster. A sandwich with a couple of bites taken out, scattered crumbs everywhere. An apple that looks like it endured a battle, with just a minuscule bite missing. An untouched granola bar. And, to top it off, a gooey piece of string cheese that’s downright off-putting.
In short, my kindergartner returns home having barely touched his lunch. Every. Single. Day. Fortunately, I’ve been here before. My older son, now 11, went through a similar phase throughout elementary school, and only recently has he started making a dent in his lunchtime offerings. I’m confident my younger son will follow suit.
I have a few ideas about why some kids struggle to eat at school. For starters, the cafeteria environment is chaotic. It’s crowded and overwhelmingly loud. The smells can be off-putting, especially for children with sensory sensitivities, like my older son, who has mentioned how some scents make him gag.
Additionally, lunchtime is a social occasion, which can either be distracting or anxiety-inducing. While adults supervise, kids tend to express themselves more freely during lunch, which can be overwhelming for quieter children like my kindergartner.
Some kids simply eat better at home, where they feel safe and can take their time. This is just the reality for some little ones. Both of my children come home ravenous at 3 PM, and I’ve made it a point to have a meal ready for them. My kindergartner also enjoys a small snack mid-morning at school, so I know he’s not starving all day long. (As a side note, this snack might spoil his appetite for lunch, but what can you do?)
Recently, a fellow kindergarten parent mentioned that his son barely touched his lunch, expressing concern that his child was the only one. When I shared that my kids faced the same issue, he was visibly relieved. It seems neither of us is alone; many children barely eat during school hours, saving their appetites for home.
Of course, many kids do eat their lunches without issue, and I recognize that for children from disadvantaged backgrounds, skipping a free school lunch isn’t an option. There is a certain privilege in being able to skip meals, and I do feel guilty about the food waste my children bring home. Yet, it’s essential to acknowledge that childhood can be challenging, and it’s quite common for kids to struggle with eating during the school day.
I’m not thrilled about this situation. I’ve tried various strategies to encourage my kids to eat more at school and even talked to their teachers, who confirm that this is a common issue. It’s frustrating when my kids come home cranky and hungry. I wish there was a way for schools to create a more calming lunch environment.
That said, having a child who barely eats at school is more common than you might think. As long as your child receives adequate nutrition and isn’t struggling to function during school hours, everything is likely okay. Kids are more resilient than we often give them credit for.
The silver lining is that most children outgrow this phase. My older son, once the pickiest eater, now brings home an empty lunch box. It’s incredible to see how he’s learned to tune out the cafeteria distractions as he’s matured.
I trust my little guy will get there too. Until then, I’ll continue to open his messy lunch box each afternoon, holding my breath, shaking my head, and waiting patiently for this phase to pass.
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Summary
Many parents share the experience of their children hardly eating lunch at school. Factors such as the noisy cafeteria atmosphere and social distractions contribute to this issue. While it’s frustrating for parents, it’s essential to recognize that this behavior is common and often temporary. With time and maturity, many children learn to eat better in school, so patience is key.