Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram are flooded with extravagant birthday celebrations for young children. Nowadays, many parents seem eager to spend lavishly in order to create the ultimate birthday bash for their little ones, often before they even reach preschool age. You can hardly scroll through your feed without encountering extravagant posts about “Emma’s 3rd birthday” featuring dozens of kids and parents at large venues. I’ve known people who consistently throw birthday parties for their children, starting from their very first year, and they typically spend around $500 for each celebration. To me, that seems utterly excessive.
For our son’s first birthday, we faced a wave of criticism regarding our low-key approach. After a lot of thought, we opted for a simple gathering at my parents’ house (primarily due to space constraints) from 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m. We celebrated with pizza and a giant blue vanilla cupcake that my son barely touched—he gave it a small lick, shook his head, and pushed it aside. (I, however, enjoyed it over the course of a week!)
My mother, his nana, added a festive touch to his high chair with banners and a cute little hat featuring Mickey Mouse. The guest list included my sister (his godmother), my brother (his uncle), my niece, and my grandmother from my dad’s side. We did invite my husband’s family, but they were unable to attend. This meant we had no room for friends or additional guests, and we were perfectly content with that arrangement.
Even with such a small gathering, our son felt overwhelmed as the center of attention. We didn’t stay long, probably less than an hour. I shared a few photos of him enjoying his special day on Facebook, and that was the extent of it.
However, a few days later, I received a text from a so-called friend: “My daughters are really upset that they weren’t invited to your son’s birthday party. We have a gift for him—let us know when we can bring it over.” While I’d like to think her intentions were good, I felt cornered by her message. It came across as if I had done something wrong for not including them, as if they were entitled to an invitation. How did her children even know it was his birthday? Something didn’t add up, and it felt like her entitlement was unwarranted.
Another friend expressed her disappointment: “I can’t believe we weren’t invited to his birthday!” But after I explained the situation, she understood better. Why should I even have to justify our choice? Just because you choose to spend a fortune on your kids’ birthday parties doesn’t mean we are obligated to do the same. My husband and I are simple people. Neither of us had birthday parties with friends until we were 7 or 8 years old, and our son is only 1! And by the way, we have no plans to rent a hall or host a grand celebration next year for his second birthday either.
Let’s face it: my child’s birthday is not about you. So if you find yourself feeling slighted for not receiving an invite, maybe consider how present you are throughout the year, and try not to make it an expectation.
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In summary, don’t take it personally if you aren’t invited to a child’s birthday. Parents have different values and priorities when it comes to celebrations. It’s crucial to respect their choices and understand that not every social event is meant to include everyone.