As a mother of a child with dyslexia, I often find myself navigating through thoughtless comments from those who don’t quite understand the challenges we face. My son is incredibly bright and hardworking, but he encounters significant hurdles when it comes to reading and writing. School has been a minefield for him; even in subjects like math, where he grasps the concepts, he has brought home failing grades due to misunderstood written instructions or transposed numbers.
Thanks to the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), he has access to an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), along with necessary tools and accommodations that help him manage his difficulties. However, it’s the careless comments that often feel like verbal grenades, launched by parents during school pick-up or at birthday parties when least expected.
“Can you believe my second-grader reads better than her fifth-grade buddy?”
I respond with a simple “Oh, really?” but inside, I’m thinking, “My fifth grader reads below grade level, so perhaps your child is the one struggling.”
Then there’s the parent who laments, “My daughter isn’t in the top spelling group. I’m meeting with her teacher to address it.”
I keep my expression neutral, but I think, “Is that what you want? Sympathy?” My child just advanced to the lowest spelling group, and we celebrated that milestone because it was the first time he moved beyond his individual, remedial word list.
We don’t even bother cramming for spelling tests; my son starts studying each week for the Friday test, fully aware that most of his classmates don’t put in the same effort. Thanks for the reminder!
Then there are the stories like, “My daughter reads at a ninth-grade level; it’s so hard to find challenging books for her.” KA-BLAM! I’m stepping back before someone gets hurt by another thoughtless remark.
Maybe I come off as overly sensitive, but consider this: approximately 15-20% of the population has a language-based learning disability, according to the International Dyslexia Association. Each time you casually toss out these comments, you could be inflicting wounds that go unseen. Many children experience significant struggles in school; there’s no need to remind us that your child excels effortlessly.
So, let’s put down those verbal grenades, shall we? The damage is real, even if you can’t see it.
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In summary, it’s vital to be mindful of the words we choose, especially in the presence of children who may be facing their own academic battles. Thoughtless remarks can have a deeper impact than one might realize, and we must strive to support each other in our parenting journeys.