As a devoted sports mom, I find myself spending a significant chunk of my life in three main activities: sleeping, contemplating dinner options, and fervently cheering for my kids at various youth sports events. With each game—be it soccer, basketball, lacrosse, or football—I find myself in a unique position to engage in some serious self-reflection and, let’s be honest, munching on my favorite snacks without judgment. After all, who else gets to enjoy a pack of gummy treats like Sour Patch Kids while supporting their little athletes?
While I genuinely love watching my kids play (or occasionally warm the bench), attending what feels like my 1,038th game can lead my thoughts astray. Here’s a peek into the inner monologue of a sports mom on the sidelines:
- Why are we always parked so far from the field? Did I forget a blanket? Oh, right—it’s in the car, but it’s covered in dog vomit. Do I even want to go get it? Decisions, decisions.
- Why do I always end up with the wobbly chair? I might just stay put until the game ends; it feels like my body is melting into this seat. Is that my knee touching my chin? Just keep smiling—no one will notice.
- Wow, those players on the other team look ancient. Seriously, that kid with a mustache looks like he could drive! I just cracked myself up. I could really go for a drink right about now—too bad it’s not even my thing.
- What’s the score again? How many minutes did my son actually get to play? Should I download an app to track this? Nah, I’m not great with apps. Speaking of which, I could go for some buffalo chicken dip!
- Is that rain? I hope it’s just a drizzle. And why is that guy yelling so much? Oh wait, that’s my husband. He’s not a jerk; I’m just exhausted.
- I swear I just felt something land on me—was that a bee? Ugh, I wish I could escape this chair! It’s too cold for spring and I really could use that blanket. I need to get my life together—laundry, dishes, and cleaning out closets are all on my mind.
- Is my child even out there? What’s his number again? That coach’s son is kinda terrible but somehow managed to score. Great, I missed a spot shaving—oh well.
- Oh no, here comes Whatshername to chat with me. Quick, think of her name! Just look straight ahead. I like her hair. Why can’t mine look that good?
- What should I make for dinner? I dread that question. Do we really need to eat every night? Yikes, I need to visit the restroom, but those porta-potties are a nightmare. Spiders? No thanks. I can hold it.
- Go team! Am I being too loud? I sound like a sitcom character, don’t I? Was that rain again?
- How many times have we had pizza this week? It’s not the worst option, right? Is that a score I just missed? I’ll just tell him I saw it—great shot, kid!
- What inning are we in? What quarter? Oh, and I have Justin Bieber stuck in my head. Why am I thinking about shrimp and linguine right now? Oh, with a glass of wine—now that sounds perfect!
- Did I even bring my other child with me? Where are they? Ugh, my phone’s memory is full again—delete, delete, delete!
- Please, let this game be over soon. I really need to pee. And was that rain?
In short, being a sports mom is a whirlwind of thoughts, distractions, and occasional chaos, all while supporting my children in their athletic endeavors. If you’re interested in learning more about parenting, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination from WHO. For those looking for at-home options, consider exploring artificial insemination kits, which can be found here.
Summary:
This article captures the humorous and relatable inner thoughts of sports moms as they navigate the challenges and distractions of attending youth sports events. From enduring uncomfortable seating to contemplating dinner options, the piece highlights the mix of support, exhaustion, and occasional absurdity that characterizes the life of a sports mom.