In the realm of parenting, few topics ignite as much debate as bedtimes for children. From dietary choices to discipline strategies, parents often find themselves divided into opposing camps. Bedtime routines are no exception, and in my experience, there are two distinct types of parents: those who enforce a strict early bedtime and those who take a more relaxed approach, allowing their kids to drift off at varying hours.
I proudly belong to the former group. Yes, I am quite particular about my children’s sleep schedule.
Last year, a friend invited my family to enjoy fireworks on the Fourth of July. Fireworks? Don’t they usually start when it’s dark? That typically means they wouldn’t kick off until at least 9:30 p.m. By that time, my kids have already been asleep for two hours! In our household, bedtime is set at 7:30 p.m., which, thanks to Daylight Savings Time, means my kids are tucked in before sunset for half the year.
From the moment my daughters were born, I made it a priority to establish a consistent schedule that included an early bedtime. We live by the “early to bed, early to rise” philosophy. Regardless of what time they hit the pillow, I can count on my two-year-old to wake me up bright and early with her rendition of “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” joyfully stomping her feet against the wall. Adorable, without a doubt, but way too early! Until they’re old enough to turn on the cartoons themselves, I’m dragged out of bed right alongside them. With young kids, the concept of sleeping in is virtually nonexistent.
Toddlers and infants are blissfully unaware of bedtime rules. They don’t realize that other kids are still playing outside, or that prime-time TV shows haven’t aired yet, nor do they comprehend why we often turn down evening invitations. My philosophy? What they don’t know won’t hurt them. A well-rested child is a happy child, and a happy child makes for a happy household. Thus, I prioritize sleep over social engagements.
I often marvel at, but never judge, parents whose children stay up later than mine. “I can’t believe he was allowed to stay up to see the ball drop!” I exclaimed in disbelief to my close friend, Lisa, about her four-year-old. “I love keeping the kids up for special occasions,” she replied with enthusiasm. Luckily, our friendship allows for light-hearted banter—“You’re insane,” I teased, and she’d just chuckle in agreement. We understand that our parenting philosophies differ.
Yet, I sometimes overlook that not all families function like mine. There are toddlers out there still awake at 9 p.m. or even later! While that may work for some families, it’s not suitable for us. I remind myself that other parents likely react with astonishment upon hearing my kids’ bedtime: “Your kids are in bed by 7:30!?” And that’s perfectly acceptable.
Perhaps kids like Lisa’s actually sleep in longer in the mornings. They might manage just fine even after a shorter night’s sleep. That certainly wouldn’t work for my daughters, though.
In truth, I appreciate the early bedtime. The time between my kids’ bedtime and mine, albeit brief, provides my husband and me a moment to reconnect, to discuss our day without distractions from a clingy toddler or a fussy baby.
Will my kids maintain this early bedtime indefinitely? Certainly not. There are occasions—albeit rare—when special events push back bedtime. While our immediate future is likely to be filled with early nights, I know that eventually, they will experience life after 7:30 p.m. Who knows, they may even catch a glimpse of fireworks someday.
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Summary
Parenting approaches, especially regarding bedtimes, can be highly polarized. While some parents adopt a strict early bedtime, others are more flexible. I firmly believe that a consistent sleep schedule leads to happier kids and a happier home. The early bedtime allows my husband and me to enjoy brief moments of connection each evening. Although my children will eventually stay up later, for now, I cherish the peace and joy that comes with a well-rested family.