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By: Laura Bennett
Updated: December 13, 2019
Originally Published: March 29, 2018
June 27, 2009, was a day filled with joy. The sun blazed in the sky, but the warmth in my heart outshone the beautiful summer day. I was ready to say “I do!” to my best friend and the love of my life.
Rather than exchanging traditional wedding gifts, we chose to give each other something more enduring: our words. We made a pact to write letters that would be delivered to us at the church on the morning of our wedding ceremony. My husband’s heartfelt note captured my soul:
“You have been my companion, my best friend, and my true love since the day we met. I will love you more and more as time goes on. You are the love of my life, and I look forward to spending forever with you…”
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I absorbed his words—so genuine and sincere. This man knew me better than anyone, and his love was immeasurable. With him at my side, I felt invincible.
As I gazed at him, I envisioned our future—our life together, our children. I never imagined I would find someone who embraced every aspect of me with unwavering loyalty and support. I thanked the universe for him and promised to be the best wife I could be.
However, somewhere between our wedding day and the arrival of our second child, we drifted apart. Life threw its curveballs at us—losses, career changes, and financial struggles. Despite still expressing love and sharing a home, we were emotionally distant. We didn’t realize how disconnected we had become until it was nearly too late.
In a shocking turn of events, the word “divorce” surfaced during what was supposed to be an ordinary day. How did we transition from inseparable partners to merely coexisting roommates?
My husband is naturally reserved, while I share my thoughts as a blogger. What I’m about to discuss is intensely personal, yet it resonates with many couples. We decided to separate. After nearly a decade of not spending more than three days apart, the absence was overwhelming. I felt like I was gasping for air amidst a whirlwind of emotions and unanswered questions.
Over the next two weeks, we rediscovered the feelings that initially bonded us, returning to the essence of our love. It became apparent that love is easy when life is simple. However, when children and responsibilities enter the mix, love faces its greatest tests. I wouldn’t attribute marital happiness solely to children, nor would I blame them for struggles. Marriage demands constant effort, and when life becomes chaotic, it’s easy for your best friend to feel like a stranger.
We confronted our issues head-on and realized that we are stronger together. We are best friends, and no challenge was insurmountable. What almost led to our separation was trivial compared to the bond we share.
Marriage Requires a Divine Element
When we wed, my grandmother gifted us a plaque with the poem “Marriage Takes Three.” It reminded us that God must be at the heart of our relationship to navigate any storm. Couples often recite vows rooted in Biblical principles yet leave God behind. He is the ultimate guide and resource for fostering a thriving marriage.
Prioritize Each Other
No excuses here! Can’t find a babysitter? Create a romantic dinner at home after the kids are asleep. Look deeply into each other’s eyes and see your partner like you did on your wedding day. I revisited my husband’s wedding letter and felt assured that his feelings remain unchanged since June 27, 2009.
Rekindle Friendship
My husband and I’s immediate friendship laid the foundation of our relationship. Unfortunately, we lost sight of this vital aspect. A friend is someone you trust and confide in, yet we sometimes become defensive around our spouse, as if they’re the enemy. Remember, you’re on the same team! Secrets can create distance; share your struggles, whether financial or emotional, with your spouse. They can handle it.
I don’t claim to be an expert; I’m just a partner who values her friendship with her husband. Are we free from challenges? Absolutely not! Life will present new mountains to climb, but I believe we will tackle them together. I wish the same for you and your best friend.
If you’re interested in enhancing your family journey, consider exploring our resources on fertility and home insemination at Make A Mom or check out Healthline for excellent insights into pregnancy options. For more detailed discussions on relationships, visit Modern Family Blog.
Summary
In this journey of love, I learned that temporary separation can lead to profound reconnection. By prioritizing our relationship and addressing underlying issues, my husband and I rediscovered our bond. Marriage requires effort, faith, and nurturing the friendship that initially brought us together.