Recently, I found myself navigating the grocery store with my three children, ages 10, 8, and 3. My youngest was nestled in the cart while the older two clung to the sides, all displaying a less-than-stellar attitude. This scenario is all too familiar; taking three kids under 10 to the store often feels like a marathon of “no’s” and threats about missing out on free cookies from the bakery. At times, I even fantasize about escaping to the woods for some peace and quiet.
During our shopping adventure, as I was scanning my phone for the right flavor of goldfish crackers—because let’s be honest, the options are overwhelming—a woman in her late 60s touched my sleeve and said, “Great job, Dad!” I returned her smile, responding with a weary yet appreciative “Thanks.” At our next stop, Costco, a couple in their early 50s echoed her sentiment, and I received yet another compliment at the bank.
Receiving three compliments in one day while out with my children is certainly a rarity. However, it’s not uncommon for me to encounter well-wishers when I’m out with my kids. Upon returning home, I shared my day with my wife, Jennifer, who raised an eyebrow and remarked, “Seriously? No one ever compliments me.” Her statement was laced with a hint of disappointment. Jennifer is often the one managing our children during errands since she works part-time at their school.
This inconsistency raises an important question: Why do dads often receive recognition for their involvement in parenting while moms are overlooked?
I can’t definitively answer that question. What I can share is that, in my experience, when bystanders see a father actively engaging with his children, they feel compelled to offer a little moral support. I’ve been writing about fatherhood for years, and most dads I know who take their children to the store alone are genuinely invested in parenting. They don’t adhere to outdated notions that their role is solely that of a provider. They share household responsibilities, from doing laundry to managing chores. In our home, for instance, I usually handle the laundry while Jennifer takes charge of the budget—because let’s face it, I studied English for a reason.
When you see a dad at the store with his kids, it’s likely he’s committed to parenting and eager to help out wherever he can. He’s not babysitting (a term I find particularly annoying); he’s simply fulfilling his responsibilities as a father. This should be the norm, yet it often seems to be a cause for celebration.
The truth is, while I appreciate the encouragement, it feels a bit like I’m being placed on a pedestal for merely fulfilling my parental duties, which inadvertently diminishes the hard work that mothers like Jennifer do daily.
Do we really need to single out fathers for doing what’s expected of them? Yes, compliments can be uplifting, especially in the often thankless world of parenting. I welcome kind words when they come my way. However, it’s essential to recognize that when a dad is taking care of his children, he is doing nothing more than what a mother does.
Instead of focusing solely on praising dads, let’s level the playing field. Parents of all genders deserve support and recognition. So, the next time you see a frazzled mom wrangling kids in the grocery store, take a moment to tell her she’s doing an incredible job. And don’t forget to do the same for the dad in the next aisle. It’s only fair.
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In summary, while it’s great to acknowledge dads for their involvement, we must also ensure that moms receive equal recognition for their tireless efforts in parenting. Both roles are vital to raising well-rounded children, and everyone deserves their moment in the spotlight.