Recently, I was leaving a work event when a young girl approached me, offering a box of handmade jewelry. She explained that she was selling her beaded pieces to help her mother pay a phone bill. Moved by her determination and feeling generous that evening, I chose a bracelet that caught my eye and handed her some cash, telling her to keep the change.
The blue, knotted bracelet has remained on my wrist ever since. It bears a single word: FREE. I selected this bracelet as a constant reminder that I am no longer bound by anyone’s expectations. After years of navigating a relationship, this symbol aids me in reshaping my habits and thoughts. I cherish seeing the word each morning when I wake up.
Divorce can be a tough journey. My life has certainly become more complicated as a working parent, primarily raising my kids alone. However, I’ve discovered numerous advantages to being single. Here are 21 reasons I’m thankful for my independence:
- I Do Things My Way.
During my marriage, I often deferred to my ex-husband’s preferences, be it the choice of dinner dressings or how laundry was folded. Now, I am my own person, making all the decisions. - I Eat What I Want, When I Want.
While my ex introduced me to new cuisines, it often meant sacrificing my favorite foods. Now, I can indulge in Ben & Jerry’s at midnight without a single disapproving glance. - My Finances Are My Own.
No more worrying about overspending on trips to Costco. I buy only what I need and keep track of every expense. My hard-earned money is in my control. - No More Waiting Up.
Though loneliness can creep in, I often felt alone at night during my marriage. The difference now is that I no longer feel resentment or worry. - No Cleanup Duty for Him.
Balancing a full-time job and raising kids is hard enough without having to manage someone else’s mess. I appreciate my home being clutter-free and organized. - I Make My Own Plans.
Although my free time is limited, it’s mine to enjoy without factoring in anyone else’s schedule. - Approval Is No Longer Needed.
I once sought my spouse’s approval, often feeling inadequate. Now, I measure my worth by my own standards. - I Choose My Wardrobe.
I dress for myself and purchase what I want, even if my budget is tight these days. - No Criticism.
When I make mistakes, I take responsibility, but I’m no longer subjected to constant scrutiny or “I told you so” remarks. - More Space at Home.
I have ample room in my closet, dresser, and bed. I genuinely enjoy sleeping alone most nights. - The TV Is All Mine.
After the kids are asleep, I get to watch whatever I want. - Holidays Are Stress-Free.
If the kids are with me, we celebrate with my family; if they’re with their father, I get a break from the holiday chaos. - I Move at My Own Pace.
I value punctuality and no longer wait for others who don’t share that respect for time. - I Can Explore Love Again.
The options for dating seem boundless. I can flirt and potentially find a relationship, although I can’t see myself marrying again. - Bedtime Is My Call.
I love being able to settle down when the kids do. I don’t miss having a phone glowing next to me at night. - I Can Actually Relax.
Being single is simply less stressful. - My Opinions Matter.
I don’t miss the arguments; my life is much more peaceful now. - Creative Freedom.
I can write, paint, and dream big again. I believe in myself. - No Excuses for Others.
We’re no longer a team, and while I avoid negativity regarding my children’s father, I don’t have to defend his actions anymore. - I Get to Drive.
No more white-knuckle rides in the passenger seat; I’m in control now. - I Create My Own Future.
I don’t regret my marriage; it led to three wonderful children. They are my world, and I eagerly anticipate the future we will build together.
For too long, I compromised my identity. Ultimately, I lost sight of who I was in my marriage. Now, post-divorce, I am free, and I wear my bracelet to remind me of this newfound freedom.
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Summary:
The author reflects on the benefits of being single after divorce, sharing 21 reasons for her newfound happiness and independence. From making her own decisions to enjoying the freedom of her finances and personal space, she embraces her self-identity and looks forward to the future.