My son, Jacob, recently landed a part-time position at our local grocery store. Juggling school and work, he’s been saving up for a car—or perhaps some Chipotle (I keep a close eye on our linked accounts!). Most of his time at work is spent scanning items for customers, but sometimes he’s outside collecting carts or helping with bagging.
Last night, he was on register when you and your spouse approached his line. The exchange was likely friendly, as he appreciates the chance to chat with nice customers like you, especially towards the end of his shift. After wishing you both a pleasant evening, you could have left with your groceries, allowing him to wrap up his day and enjoy a Saturday night filled with possibilities.
But you didn’t. Instead, after he offered his goodbye, you turned back to him, touched your own face, and remarked, “Wow. You have a lot of acne.” Then, you handed him your business card, saying, “I sell products that can help with that. In six months, it’ll be gone!”
Jacob accepted your card politely, saying, “Thank you,” but he also added, “But no thanks.” He was raised to be courteous, but also to stand up for himself and his dignity.
When I picked him up shortly after your departure, we had some heart-to-heart talks—an essential part of our routine as a single mom of four. Jacob shared your comments with me, and I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He told me, “I was having such a good day up until that moment, Mom.”
Your words, regardless of your intentions, hurt him. I try to understand the motivations behind people’s actions, so I suggested a few possibilities: “Maybe she had a drink or two and lost her filter,” I mused. “Or perhaps she struggled with her own skin issues and wanted to help you.” But I didn’t voice my more negative thoughts about your insensitivity.
Fortunately, Jacob quickly regained his smile, possibly aided by a funny text from a friend. He’s a resilient kid, known for his charisma and humor. He’s popular among his peers and has a kind heart. While he does experience some teenage acne, he’s already aware of it and we have various skincare products at home to help him.
Here’s the thing: he doesn’t need strangers to point out his flaws—especially not during a casual work shift. You could have left the store and gone about your evening, but instead, you chose to confront him with your unsolicited opinion.
I have your business card in front of me now, and I’ve contemplated reaching out to you. My protective instincts as a mother are strong, and I’ve drafted several emails that I ultimately deleted. The sting of your comment is fading, but I still plan to contact you. You need to learn that such remarks can have a lasting impact.
Jacob won’t forget how it felt to have you highlight his acne, nor the awkwardness of accepting your card while maintaining respect as a cashier. You inadvertently taught him a valuable lesson about the power of words—how they can uplift or wound.
So, here’s a gentle reminder: before you attempt to sell your products in the future, take a moment to consider your audience. Think about the impact your words may have on others. If you find it difficult to reflect, perhaps you should explore resources that might assist you in this area.
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In summary, while Jacob may have faced a moment of insecurity thanks to your comment, he’s ultimately emerged stronger and more aware. I hope you can learn from this experience as well.