Regret is not a concept I subscribe to, especially when reflecting on the actions of my younger self. We were all just children, navigating an unpredictable world. Rather than dwell on past mistakes, I see them as valuable lessons that allow me to foster growth and improvement in my children. As someone who was never outright cruel but failed to stand up against unkindness, I strive to raise my kids to be braver and more compassionate.
I was the quintessential “good girl.” Annoyingly so, if I’m honest. I vividly recall being chastised by my first-grade teacher for attempting to assist a classmate, Lucy, with her math problems. My intentions were pure, yet the embarrassment of being reprimanded for simply trying to help has lingered with me over the years.
Throughout my childhood, I adhered to the rules, completed my assignments, and avoided trouble. However, I realized that being obedient doesn’t equate to being truly kind. Following the lead of the popular kids, even when it meant engaging in unkind behavior, doesn’t make one virtuous. Unfortunately, that was my reality.
Perfectionism can often extend into our social interactions. I was acutely aware of the social hierarchy, the unwritten rules about clothing, laughter, and lunch companions. I conformed to these expectations, including the ones that dictated who we embraced as friends and who we excluded.
I might not have been the ringleader of the mean girls, but I was complicit. I watched as my peers ridiculed those who were different or less fortunate, like Sarah, who wore hand-me-downs and often had unkempt hair. I remained silent while others laughed at her expense, all to avoid becoming a target myself.
While I don’t dwell on shameful regrets, I recognize that I can make amends through my parenting. Now, I engage my children in daily discussions about kindness. I ask them if they feel supported by their peers and if they extend that kindness to others. We explore what it means to show compassion and consider the impact of loneliness, urging them to empathize with those who lack friends to share their joys and dreams with.
Schools today are making strides toward promoting kindness. My children’s current school is reading “Wonder,” and they have weekly projects related to this theme. Additionally, their previous school focused heavily on leadership principles, teaching students to stand against bullying and help those in need. These experiences provide me with a solid foundation to instill kindness in my kids, and I am grateful for that.
However, it’s not enough to simply teach kids to refrain from bullying. We must emphasize the importance of being “upstanders.” According to resources like The Bully Project, an upstander actively confronts wrongdoing and seeks to correct it. They don’t just watch; they intervene. It takes real courage to step away from the crowd to support someone who feels isolated, like reaching out to a child sitting alone at recess. Those are the unsung heroes who truly make a difference.
While I can’t guarantee my children will have the courage to be upstanders, I can educate them on what it means to be a genuinely good person in today’s challenging environment. For further insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination or explore this guide for artificial insemination kits. For more on similar topics, visit Modern Family Blog.
In summary, my goal is to raise children who not only understand the concept of kindness but also actively practice it. Through open conversations and real-life examples, I hope to equip them with the tools they need to navigate their social circles with empathy and courage.