As soon as I discovered the gender of my boys, I found myself lost in a whirlwind of name ideas. The name for my first son was a no-brainer: Alexander, named after my cherished maternal grandfather who passed away a few years earlier. However, the middle name was more contentious. We contemplated using my father’s father’s name, but we were also considering my husband’s grandfather, who had a profound influence on his life.
In a moment of innocence, we began sharing our thoughts with family. The reactions were intense—everyone seemed to have a strong opinion about the middle name, ranging from passionate support to tearful disapproval. I appreciated the sentiment, but I grossly underestimated how insistent some family members would be about our choice of names. Ultimately, we settled on my husband’s grandfather’s name for the middle name, influenced by both our fondness for it and the pressure we felt.
Little did I know, this name selection saga was just the beginning of unsolicited family advice regarding parenting. From feeding to sleeping, everyone had something to say, and they were eager to share their insights. Over time, I grew a thicker skin and became more confident in my parenting decisions, but I made the same mistake again when it was time to name our second child—I invited family opinions back into the discussion.
Why hadn’t I learned my lesson? This time, we were not considering any names of departed family members; rather, we were looking for simple, classic baby names. The options included names like Oliver, Henry, and of course, Peter. What could possibly be controversial about that?
We had a soft spot for Peter, especially after reading Peter Pan to our older son. It felt right, almost like the name was meant for him. However, when we casually mentioned “Peter” to our family, the feedback was mixed. Some liked it, some were indifferent, and a few outright rejected it. Their reactions ranged from mild disapproval to outright requests not to use the name.
I didn’t even want to delve into the reasons behind their feelings; I was so overwhelmed that I stepped away, locked myself in the bathroom, and cried. In retrospect, it seems dramatic, but I was deeply attached to the name and felt hurt by their harsh critiques. That evening, my water broke, and I went into labor with my son Peter.
Although the name debate didn’t overshadow my labor experience, it lingered in the background. I was still stinging from the comments, but when our older son met his new brother and asked about the name, he couldn’t believe we hadn’t settled on it yet. “His name is Peter,” he declared emphatically. That was the final confirmation we needed, and we happily chose the name. Strangely enough, the family members who had been so vocal about their opinions fell silent once Peter arrived; the decision was made, and there were no further discussions.
I don’t blame my family for sharing their thoughts; however, they could have been more open-minded. Yet, we were the ones who initiated the discussions, and perhaps we should have anticipated the pushback. Ultimately, the decision of what to name your child should rest solely with you and your partner. The opinions of others are irrelevant—after all, we’re merely talking about a name.
If I had the chance to do it all again, I would keep my naming choices completely to myself. I would share nothing with anyone—no hints, no suggestions, nothing. For more insights on choosing the perfect baby name, you can explore the resources at Modern Family Blog. Also, if you’re interested in learning more about pregnancy and options such as in vitro fertilization, check out this excellent resource on Wikipedia.
Summary
Sharing baby names with family can lead to unwanted opinions and pressure. In hindsight, keeping naming discussions private would have been a wiser choice. Ultimately, the decision should belong solely to the parents, as the opinions of others are not what truly matters.