Recently, my daughter shared that she had made it to the finals of her school’s Geography Bee. Despite her impressive achievement, she expressed her anxiety, saying, “I don’t want to do it because I know I won’t win.” I completely understand her feelings; even at 42, I sometimes grapple with the same insecurities. So how can I instill a sense of self-assurance in her, encouraging her to give it her all, no matter the end result? It’s a challenging task, but we must ensure that our children don’t feel overwhelmed by pressure, which can strip the joy from their experiences.
I reassured her to just get up there, focus on me in the audience if that helped, and simply do her best because, win or lose, I would always be proud of her. She took my advice and gave her best effort, even though you could see the struggle behind her desire to excel. Although she didn’t win, she faced the challenge and hopefully enjoyed the experience more than she let on. I want her to understand that being average doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of achieving anything or that she should fear failure. I will never let her feel disappointed because she isn’t the best at something—or even good at it, for that matter.
In reality, all three of my kids are fairly average. They manage to make the honor roll occasionally, but it requires effort on their part. School has never been a walk in the park for them. They participate in sports and various clubs, and while there are moments of brilliance on the field, they aren’t star athletes. They don’t always shine academically. I have three wonderfully average children, and I’m perfectly fine with that.
Of course, there are times I wish for them to excel in something, believing it could boost their confidence. Yes, I get frustrated when I see them slacking off when they could be trying harder. But this frustration often stems from my own school experiences—I wasn’t particularly passionate about academics or sports either. While I sometimes regret not pushing myself harder, I turned out okay, and I believe my kids will too.
A few years ago, I witnessed another parent coaching his son’s basketball team. This boy was the star player, seemingly flawless on the court. Yet, after the game, I overheard his father scolding him for every mistake he made. It was painful to witness, and I almost intervened. It made me wonder if that child loved basketball or if he was just trying to avoid disappointing his father. That’s an immense burden for a child to bear, and I firmly believe that kids shouldn’t be ridiculed for being average; they need acceptance instead.
We can motivate our children to strive for their best, but we must avoid imposing unrealistic expectations that could lead to lasting damage. Remember, you didn’t have kids to relive your dreams through them; they are individuals, not extensions of yourself. I don’t want my children to feel disappointed just because they missed a shot during a game or stumbled on a question at the Geography Bee. I take pride in the courage they show just by participating and doing their best.
So yes, I proudly celebrate my three beautiful, average kids. My love for them is unwavering, whether they bring home perfect report cards or shine as stars on the field. What truly matters to me is their happiness, kindness, and effort. They know this because I remind them constantly. They can still excel while being kind and happy, and let’s not forget that average kids can be incredible individuals too.
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Summary
This article explores the importance of accepting average performance in children, emphasizing that self-worth should not be tied to success or perfection. It shares personal experiences as a parent and underscores the significance of encouraging kids to try their best without the weight of high expectations. Ultimately, it celebrates the beauty of being average while fostering happiness, kindness, and effort in children.