Parenting
If She’s Struggling, Please Help Her
by Sarah Mitchell
March 22, 2023
With a sudden plunge, she finds herself engulfed in a world of uncertainty. The chaos surrounds her as she sinks beneath the surface, where bubbles rise like fleeting hopes. In this turbulent moment, she questions if this is her fate. Overwhelmed by whispers of self-doubt and unrelenting criticism, she feels as if she’s suffocating: “She should be better. She’s not an ideal mom. She has so much left to do. She needs to discipline her children more. She’s taking on too much. Her house is a mess. She should lose weight. She doesn’t deserve to be a mother…”
These nagging thoughts drag her deeper into despair. What caused her to slip off the edge? Was it her rigid expectations of motherhood? The backlash she faced on social media for her choices? Or perhaps the weekly gatherings with other moms, where conformity and perfection reign supreme? In this judgmental atmosphere, she feels herself slipping further into the abyss.
She is the mother who juggles two jobs to keep the lights on, yet wrestles with guilt for not being more present. She is the one haunted by fears of her children getting hurt, as she grapples with her own past wounds. She struggles to assist with school projects and often finds her culinary skills lacking, yet forgets about the many other things she excels at. She is the mother of a child with special needs, burdened by the belief that she is responsible for their challenges. She endures the uncomfortable stares when her child has a meltdown in public. She watches the news and feels a wave of terror wash over her each time her child heads off to school, unsure of their safety.
Caught in the tide of guilt and uncertainty, she longs for a lifeline of compassion. Offer her a hand instead of judgment. If you notice her child having a moment, step in to help rather than simply watching. Support her decision to homeschool or to vaccinate, even if your opinions differ; kindness goes a long way. A simple “Hello” to her nonverbal child can uplift her spirit. Recognize her dedication to spending quality time with her kids over maintaining a picture-perfect home. Whether she chooses to pursue a career or stay at home, let her know she is valued.
Organic or non-organic. Breast or bottle. Homeschool or private school. Vegetables or fast food. Co-sleeping or cry-it-out. College or trade school. Gluten-free or carb-loaded. Lift her up, for she is a mother who loves her children deeply and strives to do her best, just like you. If you see her struggling under the weight of parenting, or if you encounter her doubting her abilities, promise to be her savior. Provide encouragement and refuse to let her drown.
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Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming, and many mothers feel the weight of societal expectations and self-doubt. It’s crucial to offer support and kindness to those struggling, recognizing that every mother is doing her best in her unique circumstances.