In today’s world, the harrowing reality of children being harmed in schools is intolerable. This unsettling truth has sparked intense debates. On one side, we have supporters of the #WalkOut movement, advocating for our children’s safety. On the other, the #WalkUp supporters emphasize inclusion — a perspective I once championed.
As a parent, I’ve always believed in the importance of inclusion and compassion. I’m the mother who engages in deep conversations with my children daily, encouraging them to reflect on their friendships and choices. When we moved to a new school, I noticed a child who often greeted my daughter. I encouraged her to be nice and inclusive, reminding her that everyone deserves kindness.
However, as discussions continued, my daughter revealed that this child had few friends and exhibited disruptive behavior. I urged her to listen and show compassion, unaware of the dark path this encouragement would take.
One day, I received a call from the school counselor that sent my heart racing. “This is about your daughter,” she said, “but everything is okay…” I had never received such a call before. It turned out that my daughter was being followed by the very child I had advised her to befriend. This child was not just a nuisance; they were verbally harassing her, causing discomfort among her peers.
In a panic, I questioned how the school would protect my daughter. They assured me that measures were in place to ensure her safety, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. I had unwittingly led my child into a precarious situation by pushing the ideals of inclusion and kindness.
The situation escalated when my daughter went on a school trip to Washington, D.C. and found herself grouped with this child again. This time, I gave her permission to maintain her distance, to remain polite but cautious, and to stick close to an adult. It was a difficult lesson in the realities of navigating social dynamics as a female.
We began discussing personal safety more openly, emphasizing the importance of being aware of her surroundings and the potential dangers of certain situations. We talked about the need to stay together in public spaces, to observe her environment, and to act wisely.
I don’t intend to take sides in the ongoing discourse about school violence. Rather, I want to highlight that sometimes, the values we instill in our children—like being inclusive and compassionate—can lead them into unsafe situations. There are moments when it is perfectly acceptable not to extend kindness to everyone.
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In summary, while fostering kindness and inclusivity in our children is important, we must also teach them to recognize their boundaries and prioritize their safety in complex social situations.