As I was unloading the dishwasher, my three-year-old called out, “Let’s make a zoo! Sit down, Mommy, let’s make a zoo together!” With dishes still to put away, I replied, “Just a moment, sweetheart.” But before I could finish my sentence, my oldest shouted from the bathroom, needing help to wipe, while my youngest began fussing for a feeding. A flurry of demands ensued, and before I knew it, the dishes and the zoo project were completely forgotten.
Later, while tackling a laundry basket that had been sitting there for days, I heard my toddler’s voice again asking to make a zoo. My answer was the same: “As soon as Mommy is done.” But as before, I was quickly pulled into another child’s urgent needs.
As the day wound down, with dinner completed and bedtime routines underway, my son asked yet again if we could play zoo. He had been waiting patiently with his overflowing bin of animals, and it hit me just how much I had been neglecting him. This moment was an eye-opener, revealing the reality of how I’ve been falling short as a mom lately.
The chaos of parenting three kids is my current norm, especially since the arrival of my third child. Survival mode has taken over; I find myself operating on autopilot, dealing with whatever crisis arises. Sleep deprivation has left me feeling like I’m barely treading water, often overwhelmed by it all.
Juggling the needs of three children is a messy balancing act. There are brief moments to tackle household chores, but often I’m just trying to find time to use the restroom or locate the elusive cup of coffee that’s probably still sitting in the microwave from my last attempt to reheat it.
As the newborn stage begins to fade, I’m starting to regain my sense of awareness, along with a tide of mom guilt. With clarity returning, it’s evident that my middle child, whom I’ll call Lucas, is unfortunately earning his title as the overlooked one.
Lucas has always been easy-going, naturally independent, and able to entertain himself. While I’ve appreciated this trait, I now realize how easy it is to take it for granted. With two more demanding siblings, it’s clear he’s been getting lost in the shuffle.
The saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” rings true in my household. My eldest and youngest are the loudest, making it easy for Lucas to feel invisible—a classic symptom of middle child syndrome. This syndrome often comes with feelings of being overlooked, a stark contrast to the firstborn, who typically garners praise for milestones, and the youngest, who tends to be doted on. So where does that leave the middle child? For Lucas, it means sitting with a bin full of animals, waiting for his mom to play with him all day.
Whether or not the concept of middle child syndrome is scientifically valid, I know my children’s unique personalities and needs. I must work harder to equally distribute my time and attention among all three.
As a parent new to managing three kids, I realize I need to be more vigilant. Each child requires my attention for different reasons, and I cannot allow Lucas to feel neglected. His voice may not be the loudest, and he might not articulate his feelings, but as this phase of newborn fog clears, I’m committed to making sure when Lucas invites me to play zoo, I’ll pause everything else to give him the one-on-one time he craves and deserves.
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In summary, parenting three children can be a chaotic and overwhelming experience, especially when trying to balance the needs of each child. It’s essential to recognize the unique dynamics at play and ensure that every child feels valued. By making a conscious effort to spend quality time with each child, parents can foster a stronger bond and mitigate feelings of neglect.