As a parent of two spirited, adventurous little girls, I resonate deeply with the phrase that declares kids should be allowed to be human, too. My daughters, both busy and passionate, constantly make me proud with their achievements, yet they can certainly be a handful at times. Yes, they’re generally well-behaved, but let’s be honest—there are moments when they can be downright difficult.
In this age of social media, where everyone’s children seem flawless, it’s easy to get swept up in the illusion of perfection. Instagram and Facebook are flooded with images of kids receiving academic awards, triumphing in sports, snuggling with pets, and behaving like little angels. I’m guilty of sharing those picture-perfect snapshots of my daughters, too—why not follow the popular social media trend?
However, the truth is that no child is without fault. Not mine, not yours, not even the neighbor’s child who always seems to have a smile on their face and remembers to say “please” and “thank you.” For some parents, accepting that their children can misbehave is a tough pill to swallow. There’s often a tendency to rationalize their behavior—blaming a poor night’s sleep, conflicts with peers, or even dietary choices for a moment of mischief.
Our kids are not “perfect” because they are simply little humans, navigating their lives like the rest of us. Just like adults, they can have their off days. Stress, anxiety, and fatigue can affect anyone’s behavior, and while our routines may differ, kids face their own challenges that can lead to less-than-ideal choices.
I remember my own struggles with the notion of having “good” kids, especially when my daughters began school. I fretted about how their behaviors would be perceived by other parents and peers. Parent shaming could easily be another topic altogether. As a work-at-home mom, I had the luxury of overseeing their actions and correcting them as needed. Once they were off to school for six hours, I lost that control and could only hope for the best.
The reality is that my daughters do strive to be good. They help teachers, support their classmates, and show kindness to their friends. Yet, they are still learning and, at times, make poor choices. They might not always stand up to a bully or choose the high road when faced with conflict. Sometimes they snap at peers or forget to clean up after lunch. They are still figuring out social dynamics and how to navigate them, and they’re only 6 and 9 years old.
Dinner table conversations often revolve around social issues they’ve faced, from bullies to mean friends. As much as I wanted to step in and ensure they were always kind, I realized that they, too, are human. They are encountering real-life situations for the first time and trying to make sense of them. We’ve read books about kindness together, but when it comes to real-life scenarios, their decisions—whether admirable or cringe-worthy—are part of their growth.
At 41, I know I’m far from perfect. I make mistakes daily, so why should I expect my children to always make the right choices? Why must they always be cheerful? Life can be tough, and it’s only fair that they experience the full spectrum of emotions and choices as they grow. While our family mantra is to “choose kindness,” it’s a challenge even for adults to maintain that standard at all times. I understand the desire to shield them from mistakes, but learning comes from both good and bad experiences.
So yes, I have two wonderful daughters who make great choices but can also be little troublemakers. We discuss their actions, both positive and negative, and I believe it’s vital to support them through all their experiences. How can they learn about the complexities of life if they are confined to a standard of perfection? It’s crucial for their development to embrace both their triumphs and their shortcomings.
My girls are human—they do good, they err, they inspire, and they are inspired in return. I take pride not only in their accomplishments but also in the lessons they learn from their mistakes, which will ultimately shape them into responsible and remarkable adults.
Proud parent of two fierce little ladies who sometimes can be a handful—and that’s perfectly okay.
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In summary, it’s essential for children to be allowed the space to be human, with all that entails—both the good and the bad. Embracing their imperfections is critical for their growth and development.