I won’t sugarcoat it: I definitely had preconceived notions about mothers who breastfed their toddlers. In my mind, breastfeeding was for infants, not for kids who could walk and talk. I didn’t even realize that a baby becomes a “toddler” at the age of one! But then I became a mom myself, and my views completely shifted.
Before having my son, I had a naive understanding of parenting and the immense responsibilities it brings. You truly can’t grasp the weight of nurturing a little human until you are knee-deep in it. This tiny creature demands your undivided attention, regardless of the time—2 a.m. or otherwise. They need to be fed or held, and you quickly learn that their survival rests largely in your hands. When you’re the one breastfeeding, the responsibility feels even heavier. Sure, I pumped occasionally so my partner could give our baby a bottle, but juggling that with my own expectations was a challenge.
The anxiety that envelops you when you bring your little one home is overwhelming. You quickly realize that their health and well-being are primarily in your control. As they grow, new worries arise, but one constant remains: breastfeeding can serve as a protective measure for your child. It’s a way to pass on vital antibodies and provide balanced nutrition. According to the Mayo Clinic, extended breastfeeding—nursing beyond the first year—can lower the risk of various health issues, including breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and diabetes. So why wouldn’t a mother want to nurse for as long as possible?
When I was pregnant, I was determined to breastfeed. I wholeheartedly believe that fed is best, but if you can breastfeed, it offers significant benefits to your child’s health and immune system. I was fortunate to have a smooth start, but things soon became complicated.
The challenges we faced while nursing, coupled with my anxiety, made the experience much harder than I anticipated. I found myself criticizing my efforts, blaming myself for not being able to nurse Parker fully at each session, and worrying about his health. Parenting is hard enough without the added pressure of feeling inadequate.
Both of our bodies were adjusting to a new reality, and it was unreasonable to expect a perfect experience right away. My anxiety often led me to catastrophize, creating a mental barrier that made breastfeeding feel like a daunting task. I was determined to avoid formula, even though I knew there was nothing wrong with it. (I was a formula-fed baby, and I turned out just fine!) However, I had internalized the idea that breastfeeding was the only acceptable option, influenced by societal expectations and the pressure we place on ourselves to be the “perfect mother.” It’s a common trap many of us fall into; we prioritize our children at the expense of our own well-being. I’m certainly guilty of that.
Fast forward to today, and my commitment to breastfeeding has paid off. Parker is almost 13 months old, and we’re still going strong. I can’t imagine stopping anytime soon, although I do plan to transition before having another baby. I know that continuing to nurse while pregnant is possible, but I have decided against it.
Now I find myself as that mom with a toddler who’s still nursing, and he shows no signs of wanting to stop our daily 2-3 sessions. So, I ask you—who are we to judge another woman’s choices, especially when it comes to her body and her child’s?
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Summary:
I once held judgmental views about mothers who breastfed toddlers, but becoming a mom changed my perspective entirely. The responsibilities of parenting and the challenges of breastfeeding taught me invaluable lessons about self-compassion and understanding. Now, as a mother who is still nursing her toddler, I reflect on the pressures we face and question the legitimacy of judgment in motherhood.