In today’s world, it seems like we can hardly go an hour without coming across yet another viral social media post or article pointing fingers at parents for all that’s wrong in society. We’re often scrutinized for allowing our kids to use tablets at restaurants or for being overly involved in their lives. Whenever a crisis occurs, it’s almost a rite of passage for some to shake their heads and declare, “Parents just aren’t engaged,” or lament about how “kids today…” have lost their way compared to the “good old days” of parenting.
Let’s be honest—this blame game is exhausting and, frankly, misguided.
As someone who grew up in the 1980s, I can attest that while many aspects were fantastic about that era, there were also significant issues. Boys were told to “man up,” while girls faced discouragement from aspiring to roles like astronaut or president, as if those dreams were only for boys. Bullying was rampant, often dismissed with a nonchalant, “Just toughen up.” Teens engaged in risky behaviors earlier than today, and those memories are just as real as the fond ones.
Yes, there were positives about parenting back in the day, but did previous generations care more? Were they better at being involved? Absolutely not. My generation was among the first to be labeled as “latchkey kids,” left to fend for ourselves while our parents worked long hours.
In the wake of recent incidents, such as school shootings, the finger-pointing has intensified, with many eager to criticize today’s parents for perceived failures. We let our kids play too many video games, we don’t encourage outdoor play enough, and we certainly don’t spank. The list goes on.
This blame is not only unkind but also completely unproductive. Today’s parents are acutely aware of our shortcomings. We juggle busy schedules, striving to provide our children with diverse experiences—from learning a new language to participating in sports. We navigate the complexities of social media while addressing modern challenges like cyberbullying, issues that previous generations never faced. While some might think we’re overly reliant on playdates, plenty of kids still enjoy the simple pleasure of running around the neighborhood, seeking friends to play with.
There are countless reasons why a parent may appear “uninvolved.” The parent who misses a school concert may be working a night shift, while the one who forgets to send in a form might be caring for an ill family member. Even the parent who allows their child some screen time at dinner may have just spent hours exploring art at a museum and needs a moment to unwind.
The reality is, we don’t know each other’s stories. So let’s cut back on the judgments, assumptions, and constant criticism.
At the end of the day, a troubled teen shouldn’t have access to firearms, period. Blaming an entire generation of parents who are genuinely trying to raise compassionate children is utterly ridiculous. Even the most dedicated parents can have children who make poor choices. In the case of Nicholas Cruz, for example, many have noted that his mother sought help for him while she was still alive.
This principle applies even to less severe situations. A child whose parents preach kindness may still slip up and bully someone at school. They are still kids, after all, and we are all human.
Today’s parents aren’t perfect, and we don’t pretend to be. But neither were our predecessors. We are all striving to do our best, just as parents have always done. We recognize that parenting is the most crucial job one can undertake. So while you may long for the nostalgic days of big hair and iconic 80s music, please spare us the blame directed at today’s parents.
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Summary
In a world quick to blame parents for societal issues, it’s essential to recognize the challenges today’s families face. Parents are often juggling multiple responsibilities while trying to provide the best for their children. Instead of pointing fingers, we should focus on understanding the complexities of modern parenting and supporting each other in this vital role.