As a parent, finding meaningful ways to connect with your children can be a challenge, especially during family dinners. My partner and I often sit down with our three kids, asking the usual question: “How was your day?” Typically, our two older children (ages 10 and 8) respond with nonchalant shrugs, while our 3-year-old stares blankly, seemingly oblivious. They often look at the dinner we’ve prepared as if it were a culinary disaster, immediately requesting something like Mac and Cheese instead.
This scenario is all too familiar for many parents. I cherish my relationship with my children, but I can’t help but feel that I’m missing something when it comes to encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings during our mealtime conversations.
Recently, I stumbled upon the story of two brothers, Alex and Jake, who founded a successful T-shirt brand called Optimistic Threads. This revelation made me reconsider the questions I ask my kids. In their insightful book, they recount how their mother, during difficult times—following a serious car accident that changed their father’s life forever—would gather them each night and ask a transformative question: “What was the best thing that happened today?”
This question became a daily ritual that shifted their family’s mindset. Instead of focusing on challenges and complaints, they shared moments of joy, laughter, and connection, which helped foster a more resilient and positive outlook on life. During an interview, Jake explained how this simple practice helped them avoid developing a victim mentality and instead encouraged them to celebrate even the smallest victories, like a fun school project or a silly haircut.
After reflecting on this, I realized that asking my children, “What good thing happened today?” could potentially create a similar shift in our family dynamic. It’s a straightforward question, yet its impact could be profound. If this approach helped Alex and Jake cultivate optimism that eventually became the foundation of their thriving business, perhaps it could also serve as a tool for my children as they navigate their own challenges in life.
I fully understand that optimism isn’t always easy to muster, especially for those who face mental health struggles. I have grappled with anxiety and depression myself, and I know that simply waking up can feel like an uphill battle. However, I believe that introducing this small change in our dinner conversations might help my kids develop a more positive framework for viewing their experiences.
So, tonight, when my children are gathered around the table, I plan to ask them this powerful question: “What good thing happened today?” I will share my own positive experience and encourage them to dig a little deeper. My hope is that, even if just a fraction, this practice will help them cultivate a more optimistic perspective on life, much like it did for Alex and Jake.
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In summary, asking your children about the positive aspects of their day can foster a more open dialogue and a stronger bond. It encourages them to focus on the bright side of life, enhancing their emotional resilience as they grow.