I’m expecting again.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent countless hours online, ultimately crafting the perfect social media announcement featuring a sonogram nestled between adorable baby booties and a fluffy lamb. The lighting was immaculate, and I may or may not have spent an embarrassing amount of time setting it up.
Fast forward to this pregnancy? I simply shared a photo of my daughter in a “Big Sister” shirt. I dutifully announced our growing family without a catchy tagline or any semblance of originality. What a missed opportunity, right? I mean, who does that? (Clearly, the mom of a busy toddler.) With all the creative announcements available online, why didn’t I take a moment to come up with something unique? (Because I’m juggling a million things, that’s why.)
Let me be clear: I feel incredibly thankful for this second pregnancy. It took a lot longer to happen compared to my first, and I was even consulting my doctor about fertility options. I prayed for the chance to expand our family and feel so fortunate to have received that positive pregnancy test. However, I keep forgetting that I’m even pregnant.
During my first pregnancy, I could rattle off how many weeks, days, and even seconds I was into it at any given moment. Everyone, including the cashier at the grocery store, was well aware of my condition. “Oh, I can’t do that because I’m pregnant…” “Did you know I’m pregnant?” (Um, yeah. You mentioned it, like, five times.) I was well-versed in what size fruit my baby resembled and was always on top of my pregnancy milestones.
Now, when someone asks how I’m feeling, I hesitate. “Fine…?” I respond, almost questioning my own awareness. My pregnancy just isn’t on my radar. I recently called to schedule a massage and completely forgot to mention my pregnancy. When I arrived, belly on full display, I had to cancel because they didn’t have availability for a prenatal massage. I didn’t even think to mention my condition! In my first pregnancy, that would have been the first thing out of my mouth.
It feels like this pregnancy is happening in another universe. Until I’m in labor, it’s not something I’m actively thinking about—so different from my first experience when I couldn’t stop talking about it everywhere I went.
During my first pregnancy, the days dragged on, and I felt like the next milestone would never arrive. Now, time is flying by. I nearly fell off the table when my doctor told me I was already in my second trimester. I haven’t taken a single bump picture this time. Looking back at my phone from my first pregnancy makes me chuckle; I have an absurd number of belly photos from multiple angles, even when my bump was barely noticeable. Ironically, my belly is showing much earlier this time, yet there’s zero documentation.
It’s almost as though I’m a different person from just two years ago.
Back then, it was all about me. I was the center of attention. I was the only one in the spotlight, and being pregnant was my sole focus.
Now, my life revolves around my spirited two-year-old whose needs (and let’s be honest, desires) take precedence over my own. As I rock her to sleep each night, she gazes up at me, blissfully unaware of the tiny sibling growing inside me. How will she react when she sees someone else in my arms? The thought of her feeling neglected or less important fills me with anxiety.
My love for my first child is immeasurable, and that love is about to expand. This second baby is on its way, whether I remember it’s happening or not.
That’s the reality of Second Pregnancy Syndrome: one moment, you forget you’re expecting, and the next, you’re worrying about how your firstborn will adjust. Thankfully, my doctor assures me I’ll be back on track by summer. If you’re interested in learning more about fertility options, check out this post on couples’ fertility journeys.
In summary, the journey through a second pregnancy is a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities, making it an experience unlike the first. The focus shifts from the physical aspects of pregnancy to the emotional dynamics of family, making this time both challenging and rewarding.