Every time I meet someone new, the familiar question arises: “What do you do?” For me, it used to be simple to respond, “I’m an engineer,” reflecting my college education. In contrast, my partner, Alex, often struggles to answer this question. He doesn’t possess a traditional job or a college diploma, which sometimes prompts disapproving looks or pitying glances when he mentions he never attended college.
When people express their surprise, I immediately chime in to highlight Alex’s accomplishments. “He dedicates his time to caring for our child, and he excels at it. While many of us were busy focusing on academics, navigating social life, or indulging in late-night takeout, Alex spent six honorable years serving our country in the Navy and exploring the globe. Though he’s not working full-time now, he brings nearly a decade of experience in electronics to the table and is capable of handling many tasks.”
It frustrates me how society has conditioned people to define others solely by titles and degrees, ignoring the richer narratives behind each individual. Instead of asking more insightful questions like:
- “Where did you grow up?”
- “What hobbies are you passionate about?”
- “What led you to your current path?”
I find that these conversations often skim the surface, missing the depth of each person’s story.
Despite having a degree, defining myself is equally complex. My engineering studies weren’t my greatest passion, and I longed for a job that would allow my true strengths to shine. Thankfully, I found a law firm willing to train me in patent assistance, transitioning from engineering to the legal realm—a shift that often surprises others who assume my education strictly dictates my career path.
Just because I studied one field doesn’t mean I lack versatility. In fact, I would have enjoyed pursuing English, but I opted for math and science instead, thinking it would provide a more stable future. Even without a degree, I’m confident I would have carved out a meaningful path. Society often instills the belief that a degree is essential for success, but this notion is misleading.
Many mothers I know hold degrees but choose to stay home to raise their children. They studied disciplines like finance, education, or nursing, yet now they are engaged in parenting, a role that doesn’t come with a textbook or a degree. There’s no manual for dealing with sleepless nights or deciding whether to homeschool. This reality questions the value of college degrees.
College is undoubtedly beneficial for imparting transferable life skills. My engineering background honed my research and problem-solving abilities. Whether I’m assessing a building’s design or figuring out how to respond to a patent office rejection, I approach challenges with clear objectives and available resources. The same story applies to mothers: a finance degree often equips them to manage household budgets, while a nursing degree helps them discern when a trip to the hospital is necessary.
Conversely, some women successfully run businesses without formal business education, and countless innovators have thrived after leaving college. Our worth is determined by how we apply what we learn, not merely by the degrees we hold. I refuse to be defined by a single piece of paper.
I am more than just an engineer. I’m a mother, a wife, a writer, a technical advisor, a swimmer, a creative thinker, and even a picky eater. I’m involved in philanthropy too.
Don’t ever feel regret for a degree that doesn’t align with your current job choice or for staying home. Much of what you learned will surface when needed. Even if you’re not in a corporate setting applying your expertise, you’re enriching your family’s life using those same skills, which is incredibly fulfilling.
A college degree may come with a hefty price tag—often over $100,000—but it doesn’t define who you are. It merely reflects a choice you made and completed. While it holds meaning, it’s not the entirety of your identity. Hopefully, society will eventually recognize the immense value of individuals who are talented and capable, regardless of their educational background.
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Summary
In a world that often equates success with formal education, it’s essential to recognize that a college degree is not the sole determinant of a person’s worth or capability. Many individuals thrive outside conventional paths, showcasing the importance of skills and experiences over mere academic credentials.